Birthday Bash!

We had a really fun day on Saturday with family and friends. Lil M turned 3 on Thurs., and I planned her party for Saturday so we could do it up nicely. :) And, that we did!

Before everyone came over for the party, we had our own present opening party that morning. :) It was a safari themed party... and eventually included Dora, Boots (the monkey) and Swiper. The little kiddos, of which there were 4 total, got to color, play on the back porch with all the tricycles and cars... and get Monkey and Lion temp tattoos, as applied by my nephew, Chase! He was great with the little kids and seemed to have a good time, too.

Lil M really seemed to enjoy having everyone over and loved everything she got! She looked great in her cute little dress and white shoes! She blew the 3 monkey candles out in 2 breaths... and loved the cake and ice cream! :)


I just want to say that we are truly blessed to have the friends and family that we do. We love you all from the bottom of our hearts!!!

Peace.

Not the flu

Lil M was sick yesterday and the night before last. She had a bit of a fever (100.5) and threw up at daycare two different times. So, I brought her home and then took her to the Dr. yesterday afternoon. He said she probably had a little stomach virus, but not the flu. The flu test confirmed she didn't at least have that. Thank goodness.

So, we're staying home this morning for a little bit, maybe all day depending on how she feels. But so far, she seems to be feeling a little better. She didn't eat much of her banana this morning, so we'll see.

I was pretty cranky yesterday, just felt bad for her because she was sick on her birthday. Yep, she turned 3 yesterday. :) Here's crossing fingers that we're both OK for tomorrow's birthday party!

TGIF.

Oh, besides all that, she was 27 lbs and 35.5" tall, which still puts her in the 40th percentile, like she's been the whole time. Nice to be consistent.

Peace.

PS. now my stomach isn't feeling so good. :( Potty issues, and not throwing up... but that's not good either. i hope it passes as quick as hers seemed to!

recipes i want to try

homemade chicken tenders

egg&cheese drop biscuits (except i'll use turkey sausage or bacon)

man, they look yummy. :)

peace.

WFMW - Toddler Chores

Cleaning the house as a single Mama can sometimes be a little tricky. ... with a 3 year old (tomorrow) in the house!! So, sometimes I try to pick times of the day that Lil M is asleep or eating or watching her show to get chores done.

Other times, I let her help. Things she can help Mommy with (which, of course, is all relative)!!

1. sweeping the kitchen floor with a broom,
2. putting folded clothes in her own room, or on mommy's bed, or in the kitchen for me,
3. putting her toys in her toy box (nightly),
4. putting her dish(es) in the sink when she is done eating. she can't quite open the refrigerator herself, yet, so she puts her leftover drink on the counter, too,
5. picks up the weekly newspaper from outside and puts it in the recycle bin,
6. helps mommy get the mail and brings it in,
7. helps mommy unload the dishwasher, by taking things (not knives) out of the dishwasher and hanging them to me to put away
8. helps mommy unload the groceries. she can carry up a light bag from downstairs to the kitchen, and then she takes the items out of the bags for me, and i put them away.

What a great little helper I have. :) This works for me!! Go check out other WFMW ideas!

Peace.

basketball camp final day

Here are a couple of pics from today's camp. I think Lil M liked it, but an hour each day for the 3 days was more than plenty for a 2 year old!! :)





Peace.

basketball camp

So, I got Lil M into a 3 day (1 hour long) basketball camp for little kiddos (3/4/5 YO). She's actually still 2 years old, but will be 3 at the end of this month. She's done pretty well, so far. Day 1, she played a lot, and really looked like she was enjoying herself. They were all on the big basketball court.

Day 2, she played some, but not as much. They moved the smaller kids to the small basketball court that has walls about as high as the kiddos and made it much more loud. About halfway through, she decided she would rather be with me than to play with a basketball. So, all in all a good day, but after the halfway point it was harder to get her to play.

The interesting thing is, I was OK with it either way. As you should be, you say? Well, of course. But when you're in the middle of it, you don't always know how you will react. Or how she/they will react. The very cool thing was that she didn't just sit in the middle of the floor and have a meltdown (not that she ever does that, but i could almost see it coming)... and instead she came to me and only wanted Mommy.

When thinking about attachment and whether or not our adopted kiddos really feel safe and loved, it is a great feeling whenever she wants me and me alone. It is definitely what I think is 'supposed' to happen, and when it does, it's a great feeling. The other great feeling is to know what her limits are. I felt like I could push a little more at one minute and then a few minutes later I knew she was done. There seems to be a balancing act with that, though, and I could see how she could get overwhelmed quickly. That's all about being a toddler.

I wonder what the Three's have in store for me/us. lol.

Day 3 of her camp is tomorrow. I also wonder how she'll do then! I think this makes me even more determined to get her into a dance/tumbling class, so she has different experiences in the next few months! :)

Peace.

Saddens me

My thought for the day....

You know what saddens me?

When a so-called friend says they don't want to be your friend after you had to take a stand for yourself in a bad situation.

When women put other women down for their choices of motherhood or non-motherhood.

When someone allows the harassment or oppression of another.

When a Working Mother or a SAHM puts the other down for their choices.

I'm sure there is a lot more to say here, but these are the ones that come to mind. It is my opinion that we should build each other up in love. We all have our unique gifts and talents and we should encourage our fellow human beings to pursue theirs as well. And we as women should help each other when people are mean to us and to our fellow mothers/sisters/daughters/friends.

Peace.

President Jimmy Carter

I'm so pleased with our former President Jimmy Carter for coming out against the Southern Baptist Church (SBC) against the subjugation of women.

In his words:

We are calling on all leaders to challenge and change the harmful teachings and practices, no matter how ingrained, which justify discrimination against women. We ask, in particular, that leaders of all religions have the courage to acknowledge and emphasise the positive messages of dignity and equality that all the world's major faiths share.

The carefully selected verses found in the Holy Scriptures to justify the superiority of men owe more to time and place - and the determination of male leaders to hold onto their influence - than eternal truths. Similar biblical excerpts could be found to support the approval of slavery and the timid acquiescence to oppressive rulers.

......

The truth is that male religious leaders have had - and still have - an option to interpret holy teachings either to exalt or subjugate women. They have, for their own selfish ends, overwhelmingly chosen the latter. Their continuing choice provides the foundation or justification for much of the pervasive persecution and abuse of women throughout the world. This is in clear violation not just of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights but also the teachings of Jesus Christ, the Apostle Paul, Moses and the prophets, Muhammad, and founders of other great religions - all of whom have called for proper and equitable treatment of all the children of God. It is time we had the courage to challenge these views.

Here's a link to two articles, one written by him and the other about his decision to leave the SBC.

Losing my religion for Equality

Jimmy Carter leaves church over treatment of Women

Frankly, the more I read about him, the more I like him. :) I am so pleased that he continues to do good work!!

I've been reading so many different kinds of articles and blogs lately about the subjugation and demoralization of women, even in our own country. It makes me SO sad and, actually, angry. I really believe that his taking a stand against the SBC is just awesome. :) He has his own foundation - The Carter Center - and he's won the Nobel Peace Prize. We could stand to learn a thing or two from him and his wonderful wife, Rosalynn, IMHO.

Peace.

Batiks and goal

I just remembered that I have some absolute gorgeous fabric at home that I haven't found a project for. It is this earthy colored batik fabric... batik fabric is basically hand dyed and the dye is layered on. It is contemporary looking, but not something that won't look good years from now. It was very spendy to buy, and I have had it for probably 3 years or more now sitting in a drawer.

I need a new project or goal. Maybe making myself a quilt for a change might help. So, I'm toying with taking that fabric out and cutting it into simple squares and sewing them together to make a top. I sort of feel like it should be a fancier pattern, but I'm not sure I want to get too fancy with my first project back. But, I might look up patterns tonight and see what I think I can manage. Else, it'll be squares. :)

Even just to get an idea of a project seems somewhat appealing to me today. I need goals. And I have none right now.

Peace.

How do you do

So, it occurred to me today, yet again, that my life is different than it was 2 years ago. Different does not mean bad. It's definitely been a good thing. But some things have taken a backseat either due to energy level, time constraints, just having adequate mommy time... etc. And I'm wondering if I'm the only one who feels this way.

How do you keep up, or do you, with some of the things you did pre-baby??

I used to quilt all the time. Not now.
I used to run all the time. Not now.
I used to travel all the time. Not now. (this one is for races, family, anything really... just pick up and go)

I'm trying to get back into something, but am not even sure I want to do the hobbies I once did. Is that normal? But I haven't found anything that I like as much or better to replace them. So, I'm sort of feeling stuck.

Anyway, looking for thoughts and ideas from others who've maybe gone through something similar...

Peace.

Cat...and not Manna

I have had my Manna girl (cat) for 15 years now... crazy. She is suffering from a thyroid condition right now, and has lost a lot of weight. I've been giving her meds for a few months now, and need to take her to checked again soon. Money, money, money... but I love her.

Anyway, today a cat walked up to my neighbor's house...they both asked if it was mine. It wasn't. It is a white and tan/grey calico. They tried to convince me to take her. So did Mindy and Chase. She's pretty. She has blue eyes... and has been laying on the couch with me all evening. But is it YET MORE MONEY if I keep her. Good grief.

I haven't made a decision yet.

Peace.

One with Two

I have my nephew this week, so he can go to a baskeball/sports camp. He started this morning, and I'm hoping he's having a great time! Surprisingly, this morning wasn't much worse than our normal mornings... of course, it is just one week, but it does sort of give me hope that one day I can be a mommy of two.

I've got to figure out how to get Maggi (my sheltie)'s stake back into the ground tonight, as well as mow the yard. But I've got dinners figured out for most of the week, I think. I'll stop by the store before picking up the kids... then we might do dinner and the park (if I have enough energy!! LOL)

Peace.

Show and Tell

Another blogger friend has a Show and Tell wednesday thing going on. I don't usually participate... but after looking through some pics, I really thought I ought to do it this week!!! :) Please go visit the other participants over at her place, too!!! *PS, I'm using her graphic, 'cause she's a Mel and some folks call me Mel, too. :) Hope she doesn't mind!!

Our Show and Tell: Mia and her happy face mirror.

What is so special about a toy mirror, you ask? Well, it happened to be one of the very first toys I took with us to China for her to play with. The nose honks, it is a happy face, and she can see herself in it. What more could a girl ask for?!!!!! :D It didn't hurt that it was small and portable! (my sister and Mia are probably the only two people the world who even remember it, besides me, of course!)

So, last night I was pleasantly surprised when she found it in her box (after removing every single item from the box, I might add, so she could put her animals in there...which she never did actually do!!)

I was so pleased to see her interested in the long-lost-toy, if even for a moment... after 2 whole years! :) And, of course, she looks adorable making faces. hehe.


Look at me... aren't I PRETTY!!! hehehe

Peace.

Savings Make Cents: WFMW: Oatmeal Bars

Savings Make Cents: WFMW: Oatmeal Bars

Kitchen Cleaners

So, a quick note to say that I went to the store last night and got a Clorox kitchen cleaner last night... thought I should get something "real" in addition to the vinegar solution I use in the kitchen. Just let me tell you - that crap stinks!! I mean, literally. I can still smell it and I'm not even at home. It is just WAY too strong. So, either I'm going to dilute it, or just use it for outside or something.

Back to the vinegar I go!!

Oh, Sis asked me how to make laundry detergent, so I thought I'd post it here, too. It is a dry detergent, I haven't made liquid stuff, yet.

2 cups grated Ivory soap (or bastille, but I just use Ivory and it is great)
1 cup Borax*
1 cup washing soda*
Mix well

Use 2 TBL for a regular to large load of laundry. It if is extra soiled, use 3 TBL.This does NOT make suds in the wash...but, it cleans just fine!!! :)

*Both Borax and Washing Soda can be found in the laundy aisle at your grocery store, at least it can at Kroger.

Peace.

Orphans and Widows

I read a great post today about a ministry that helps Widows. Please read it here, and prayerfully consider helping.

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27

Peace.

Absent

I guess I've been a bit absent lately!!

In the land single parenting, one thing that is different than if you had a partner is that all decisions and responsibilities are carried out by one person instead of two. Ok, duh. But here's an example. Summer day camps and working. Us single folks have to work (unless you're blessed to be independently wealthy... not here), so when summertime comes, you have to figure out what to do with your little ones if they aren't in school. With Lil M, she's still in Daycare, so it's not an issue. but with my Nephew, well... it's something that needs to be done.

So, Sis got him into a YMCA program for part of the summer, and I got him into two sports camps - one is a basketball centric one, and the other is more general. I think he's going to love it. :)

He came down this week and hung out with Lil M and I and we had a nice time. He comes back in a week or so for his baskeball camp. I hope that goes well, too. It's kind of nice to get to have some concentrated Auntie M - Chase time!!!

Not sure if we're going to see fireworks tonight. Might try to find some. Otherwise, it's just a relaxing weekend here. Happy 4th of July everyone!!!!

Peace.

Adoption day

Last Friday Lil M and I celebrated our 2nd adoption family day. Well, I did. She doesn't quite know what it all means yet. :) But she will! I treated us, and sis and nephew, to Indian food and Starbucks. I know it wasn't Chinese food for our anniversary, but it was a treat. :) We all love Indian food. Yes, even Lil M had some!!

It's been a wonderful 2 years together. I just can't believe how fast it's gone and how much she's grown!! I'm still completely happy with the decision to go it alone. I know people find that odd, but it works for me/us.

Here's to another 2, 10, 80 years of family days and happiness Lil M!!! :) Mommy loves you.

Peace.

Chicken potato corn chowder recipe

I made a new recipe... and sort of made most of it up myself! :) Here it is. It turned out quite good. I think the key is to put the milk products in toward the end and turn it on simmer.

1lb chicken (cooked and chunked)
10-15 potatoes (i wanted this to be predominately a potato soup)
2 cans corn
4 cups or more of chicken broth (to cover the potatoes - i used chicken broth that i had made from a chicken before. you can use water here, but i think it gives it more flavor)
1 can cream of chicken
1/2 can condensed milk
1 cup milk

I cut up probably 12 potatoes (peeled and cubed) and put them in a pot of chicken broth only (probably 4 cups) - bring to boil

I took about 1lb of grilled chicken breast that i cooked the night before... it was cold, and i cut it up in small chunks.

Added 2 cans of corn
Added the 1lb cubed chicken
Added some spices - maybe 1/4 tsp onion powder and dehydrated onion, pepper

Then after about 20 minutes,
add 1 can of Cream of Chicken soup
add 1/2 can of condensed skim milk
add about 1 cup of whole milk

Turn on low and cook until the potatoes are done. :) Season to taste.


Peace.

Moving forward

I've mentioned many a time to friends, family and my fellow bloggers that I have a heart for adoption. (or perhaps that's just really obvious anyway!!) A couple of months ago I started the process to get certified as a foster/adoptive parent with my state. I've gone through all the classes (except CPR and one make-up class), and am ready to start my homestudy. But here's the thing, as I've been going through the process I've been praying about what is best for Lil M and me together. And right now, I'm hesitant to bring a child into the house that is older than Lil M. I'm not 100% sure that being a therapeutic home would be the best thing for us right now, because it will take a lot more energy, resources and time. And, I'm conscious of my own daughter and her needs. She's not super-needy, by any means, but I want to make sure I give her what she needs, too. And she's not even 3 years old, yet. So, I'm re-considering another international adoption (of another infant).

That leads me to Kazakhstan. The biggest reason, so far, to go with Kaz is because they allow adoptions of infants. They also have children of Asian descent available for adoption. The biggest negative - the cost. So... again... I pray. (I've also started a separate blog to write my thoughts down about this process, and it is closed right now, but if you want to be able to read it, send me a request and I'll add you.)

God has put me in a place in life where I am moved by adoption. Whatever got me here, I'm happy with my decisions and I am open to the future and what it holds for me and for us as a family. The other nice thing is that Scott and I talked about all this and he is in agreement of me looking into Kaz. So, even though the plan is for me to do this as a single again, he's on board with the decision. That's good. :)

Of course, if I can't afford it, nothing will happen. So... pray, pray, pray!!!

Peace.

Feel better

I'm starting to feel better this morning... whew, finally!! I'm not sure how long it will last, or it if will all day, but so far so good.

Lil M is doing great. She was looking through one of her books the other night, that has those push-buttons on the right that say the numbers... and she would count the items on the page (like ducks) and tell me the number and then pick it out on the right side. :) Very smart my little one!! Lest you forgot, she's 2 years 9 months old. She was able to count up to 6 on the page. :) After that she got a little unsure.

Anyway... it's Tuesday! Go make the best of it!

Peace.

Strep

I have a horrible sore throat this week, and feel just terrible... headache, no energy, glands in my neck are swollen... did I mention the horrible sore throat? So, I went to the Dr. today. It's official. I have strep throat. :( boohoo.

The Dr. prescribed antibiotics, and I started taking them about 1pm. Apparently, I will be contagious until tomorrow (at least). Great. Oh well, it could always be worse!! LOL

My friend MK brought me some dinner, Lil M some dinner and brought Lil M home from daycare for me!! She's so nice. :) Apparently, I have a tough time asking for help, but she always seems to know when I need it!! I was hoping she and MK2 could come in for a bit, but since I'm contagious it isn't such a good idea I guess. Oh well. There will be other days!!

Anyway, hopefully I'm the only one with the sickies this week!!

Peace.

Birthday and Memorial Day

Sis, Mia, Me and Chase at dinner for our birthday. :)

Leaving on a jet plane.... but we're back now! :) We were tired, 'cause it was early in the morning and we hadn't slept much the night before... but we still had fun!


Had a great birthday... lots of friends came and we all had dinner on Thursday. Then we went to meet Scott's family on Friday. Had a great time.

Today we're just hanging out at home, recuperating. :) lol I hope everyone has a blessed Memorial Day. God bless our service men and women...those still with us, and those who aren't.

Peace.

Birthday thoughts

Today is my birthday. Actually, it's Sis' birthday, too! :D There's a group of us going to dinner tonight, and that's going to be awesome. Scott's going to come pick Lil M and I up at the house and then we're going to meet everyone else. Then, after dinner, we're going to drive up to Sis' house and spend the night with Sis and Nephew! Tomorrow morning, we fly to Atlanta to hang out with Scott's family for the weekend. I've not met them yet, and am a bit nervous. But, I think it'll be OK. :)

I guess my main thought today is that I'm truly THANKFUL for my life and for being able to live another day. No, there isn't anything wrong with me... I've just been wanting to make sure I remember to be more appreciative for every moment of every day, because life is short. Even, when some days I feel old! But I don't ever want to "be old"... you know, in spirit! I will, however, be thankful to be as old as God sees fit! :)

I've been kind of blah lately... so, I'm hoping the new birthday brings renewed happiness and life! And, oh, here's to thanking God I'm not quite hitting the next decade yet!!! LOL (ok, it'll happen, but not for awhile yet) The past recent months have been pretty darn good. But I had about a year there where life just kind of sucked (and in no way because of my daughter). So, here's to a new (birth) year for me...

Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIS!!!! :) Love you!!

Peace.

Live Intentionally

Do you live intentionally? I mean, do you really live moment by moment by moment? I know I don't always do that. But when I do, I feel more alive and more satisfied. But I have gotten bogged down by fears of this so called thing called life... and I find I have to re-commit to myself to live intentionally.

What does this mean? Well, for me, it means that I enjoy these few moments of quiet. Turn off the TV. Sit and watch the dogs play. The baby play (or as of right now, napping in her bed). Listen to the birds. Look at the flowers. Take a walk. Enjoy the actual moment I'm living in right now. :) What a concept, eh?

Think about it though... we Moms, Adults, Women, Working People... ALL People... don't we just go, go, go most of the time? How often do you just enjoy this moment right now?

That's my prayer for you and me both today. Enjoy this moment. Whatever it is. It is fleeting.

Peace.

Decisions

I'm still in the prayer phase of a 2nd adoption. I've been going through a foster/adoption agency that works with mostly older children. And, today, I realized that I am still not 100% sure about that. I would like to adopt another baby. So, now I've got to figure out next steps. Still praying for SAFY and that I might be able to help there. I'm not saying I'm not going to foster or adopt from there. I just still think I want a younger child. :) So, let's see...

crockpot tater tot recipe

I want to try this:

Green Bean Tator Tot Crockpot Casserole $5.87
1 lb. ground turkey 1.99
1/2 t. salt .01
1/4 t. pepper .01
1 onion chopped .15
1 lb. bag frozen string beans 1.49
1 can cream of mushroom soup .49
1 c. shredded cheese .43
1 -21 oz. bag tator tots or equivalent in raw shredded potatoes 1.79

1. Crumble raw ground turkey in bottom of slow cooker. Sprinkle with salt and pepper.

2. Layer remaining ingredients on turkey in order they appear in ingredient list.

3.Cover and cook on high for 1 hour. Reduce heat to low and cook for 3 hours.

Sounds yummy, doesn't it? :)

Peace

Flower Garden

Wow, today was busy! I bought 4 rose bushes, buy one get one free today at Lowes!! :) Got them planted, close to the Japanese Maple tree. Then, Scott came and brought mulch!! WOOHOO! I really wanted to get some mulch laid, and we got it done. I know they all look small, but here are a couple pics. Oh, and planted 3 boxwoods... a fennel bulb plant and a small green ground cover plant. Whew! It doesn't seem like a lot, but it is looking great, I think!

Happy Mother's Day to ALL the Moms out there!

Peace.

Three thoughts in one day

I'm sitting here thinking just how lucky and blessed to have Lil M as my daughter. My friend MK said that Lil M didn't want to sleep at her house, and when she told her Mommy was there her little lip started to quiver and she wanted her Mommy!!

Color me loved. I love that baby more than words can say.

Happy Mother's Day weekend (to me, hahaha)!!!

God Bless the Mothers.

Peace.

Loss part of Adoption

Each and every day I'm reminded that there is a part of Lil M's life that she lost when she came to be my daughter. It is not insignificant. It is not unimportant. Do I wish I knew more about what her first parents circumstances were? Yes. I do wish I knew more. I know someday Lil M will ask about it, and it saddens me that I don't really have any answers for her.

I'm so glad she's my daughter. And the cool thing is, that I don't really feel like I need anyone else's recognition of our Mother/Daughter relationship this weekend. Just knowing she does love me makes all the difference in the world! :)

So, for this Mother's Day weekend, I will pause and remember with great respect the woman who gave birth to my daughter. May she be blessed in her days, no matter what her circumstances are, were, or may be.

Happy Mother's Day weekend to all the Mom's out there!!!

Peace.

Huggies commercial is awful

I hate the new Huggies commercial for Mother's Day. And I mean HATE.

It goes something like this: It is the one where they are giving away free Huggies for a year to qualify must: Unite male chromosones with a female egg. Once fertilized, retain a radiant glow for about 9 months, after morning sickness. Frequent emotional mood swings, letting people touch your belly and then spit out a baby... eww.

And, WHAT ABOUT THE ADOPTIVE or IF/IVF parents????? OMG.

I realize we're in the minority, but still. Could the companies think outside the box on occasion? This totally just set me wrong. Mother's Day things should, IMO, celebrate ALL mothers... and people have babies who need diapers... and those babies don't necessarily come from this way. They should have at least mentioned that in the disclaimer or something, that ALL moms with babies are welcome to participate. Not just the pregnant ones.

Peace.

A Tree

I planted more things in my flower garden Tuesday night. Most notable was a Japanese Maple (weeping) tree. Very pretty. I also planted a small blue evergreen bush and a couple more perennials. :) I'll post pics when I get the chance!

The front still looks pretty bare. I'm hoping things fill in this year!! I need more mulch, though, that's high on my to-do list this weekend.

Peace.

Planted

I got the garden asters (sort of look like daisies) planted last night. I also planted the 2 azaleas, 2 lavender plants, one thyme plant, and a begonia. I didn't get the bulbs planted, but will do that this weekend. Gotta get some mulch, too, and get that down this year!!

Oh, and I had a veritable onion garden growing in my flower bed. Oh boy. Got part of those pulled. I hate all that bending... so, I'll finish up weed pulling this week, too. :)

Someone said that gardening is just "activity" not "exercise"... well, either I'm just that out of shape, or they're wrong! LOL That digging worked out my arms and back pretty well!!

Peace.

Gardening...

Just the idea of me gardening is quite humorous. :) I am allergic to grass outside, so I tend to not do anything with flower gardening or food gardening. Plus, frankly, I never had the time!! I find it kind of funny that I have more time now, with a 2 year old and all... but I am home more... and I think she'd like to hang out outside more.

So, this year I've decided (again) to plant some new plants outside... I ordered:
- 40 Blazing Star bulbs (20 white and 20 lavender),
- a 3 piece Garden Aster set, and
- a 2 piece Azaleas set.

I'm going to try to get them planted early this week, 'cause they came in on Friday.

Now, I need to find a bush for the front yard, and a tree. Both need to be not-too-tall (bush, maybe 2' tall, but spread... and tree, not over 10' tall I'd say). I'm looking at a Dwarf Lemon Tree... but haven't bought it yet.

For more fun, I'm considering a blueberry bush, too. But, not for the short bush I need. I'd take out a couple of the ones next to the house that I don't like...and put this in. We'll see. I am going to start small, and work my way up!!! haha

The ones I'm most worried about are the Azaleas. They are pretty, but it said something about shade/partial day sun... and I was going to put it in full sun. So, I might have to change my spot for them... I wonder how they'd do under my two pine trees in the back yard...?

Any gardening tips to share?!!!

Peace.

Rejects

I've been looking at foster care and foster-adoption lately. It's one option for me when looking at family building. One thing I have found interesting when talking to people is that they feel like fostering a child would be out of the realm of possibility for them because the children are "too messed up" for them to care for. That the children might be to difficult or, God forbid, have things they have to deal with in order to heal.

Is it ugly? Yes. Do I understand how these people hurt their children like they do? NO. Is it easy to help someone when they've gone through SO much and are only a child? I'm absolutely sure it won't/wouldn't be.

Should we reject these children just because they have baggage and hurts we don't understand? No.

The odd thing for me is that I don't feel like these people say they do. If anything, I feel like I'm probably not good enough to take on such a worthy, amazing task. I have my own flaws. I am by no means perfect. But for some reason, I feel like I'm supposed to help somehow. And if that means taking a risk, then that's what I will do.

Now, here's the thing. I seem to be a worrier by nature. (or was that nurture?) I'm not as much worried about the child(ren) I might foster/adopt as I am my own capabilities as a parent. It seems other people aren't this way. Which I find odd. Other people seem to have this self-confidence, that I don't have. And why that's weird is because I've had Lil M for almost 2 years now! You'd think I'd be more confident by now. She's great. We're great... but it is a pretty well known fact that she's a fantastic child.

So, I pray. I'll continue to pray about this situation and moving forward. I'm in the process of becoming certified as a foster/adoptive parent in my state. And, I hope by the time that process is finished that I will feel more confident that I can help a child who needs me. It is in God's hands, and I am confident that God knows what is best for all of us. :)

I also pray for those rejected by their families. My heart breaks for them.

Peace.

Budget update

I had to tweak the budget this month because I'm converting from a consultant at work to full-time.

Good news is
- that our insurance is extremely reasonable (includes dental and vision)
- the company pays for short term disability
- the quite nice company match to 401K contributions (after 1 year)
- that the company pays for a decent amount of life insurance
- that even though long term disability is paid by me, but is reasonable
- that the vacation is good, plus the actual days off for holidays give me more time with Lil M!!

The Not so good is the pay cut, of course. So, I had to revise the budget. The loss feels bigger than it probably would because I'm starting 401k contributions again. I know the market took a huge hit this year, but I'm a big believer in saving for retirement. I'm only putting 6% in, to start, but once they contribute that'll automatically double. Plus, they give an automatic 3% on top of that! So, next year, It'll go up to 15% without me doing anything! Woot!

I have to remember this when I look at my monthly income, though. Yikes.

The other good news is that Sis got a small raise where she works. So, that'll help. She's made huge strides since all the crap happened with ex-hubby to get back on her feet. And this is good for her. I still hope she gets her resume together, though, and eventually finds something else. They don't treat her that well there, and have taken advantage of her (mainly in salary).

I'm still working on getting the debt paid down. To date, Sis has one credit card paid off. As of this month, that'll be 2. Sweet! For me, I have paid off 3 credit cards, and have 3 more plus the line of credit to go. I'm still on target to get 2 more paid off by September. Which leaves just 2 big bills left. Sis will take much longer than that... boy, is divorce expensive. (i'm glad she's almost done with all of that, for many reasons... the least of which is money related!!)

Peace.

Pasta salad recipe and Mayo

I found a post I wanted to share about a pasta salad recipe... here

She asked an interesting question, that came up at my family's Easter dinner table today!

Are you a Mayo person or a Miracle Whip person?

Me... Mayo all the way!! :)

Here's part of her post:

I have a habit of making a big pot of pasta once a week. It might be elbows, bowties, or wagon wheels. Whatever I find in the pantry, mostly. I drain it and coat it with some olive oil and keep it in the fridge for a quick dinner. I might top it with spaghetti sauce or add some parmesan and serve it with chicken tenders. More often in the summer, I'll make pasta salad. The recipe is pretty free form - but it always, always contains hard boiled eggs. Eggs are a great source of protein and hard cooked eggs stay fresh in the fridge for up to a week.

For Easter dinner tonight, I mixed the pasta with a couple big spoonfuls of light Miracle Whip - I'm SUCH a sucker for that stuff - which brings me to this stumper, thanks to The Hubster - are you a MAYO person or a MIRACLE WHIP person? He's the former and i'm the latter and we argue about it allllll the time. I grind in some salt and pepper, and then the eggs. ALWAYS four - or more - hard boiled eggs, roughly chopped. That's the basic salad, the part that never changes. Today, I added chopped tomatoes (I can't WAIT for summer tomatoes, that makes the dish 100000% better) and diced green pepper. That's it, that's all. It was delicious. Sometimes I add cheese cubes, diced meat, pickles, frozen peas (which defrost almost instantly and remain just a bit crunchy) - the list goes on and on.

I'm going to try this. Sounds super easy!!! :) And, I completely agree with her about the summer tomatoes. Can't wait!!

Peace.

Pets

I'm a little sad today... no, none of my pets have passed or anything, but Manna, my cat, did her business in the family room today (not in her box). So, back to the office she goes. She'll have to stay there when I'm not home, where there is a box very close. Ugh. I know she's almost 15, but I had a huge problem with cats not going in their boxes a couple of years ago, and I just can't do it again. It was awful, awful, awful.

Anyway, just wanted to vent a little. It makes me sad. :( But, otherwise, she seems to be holding up ok with her thyroid issue.

I hope everyone has a very blessed Easter weekend.

Peace.

Basic Budget

I thought I'd write my thoughts about creating a basic budget. I know this might seem, well, really basic... but that's all it needs to be! Sometimes I think we make things much harder than they need to be!

I've got my budget complete, and it includes all of these, and then some.

1. House payment or rent
2. Car payment (even if you don't have one, i suggest starting to pay yourself)
3. Home upkeep bills - phone, cell phone, cable/satellite, water, sewage, heat, A/C, electric, internet...
4. Debt - credit cards,
5. Insurance (health and life and car and home...) the insurances that are a must are car and home/rent. the other two, well, i hope you have.
6. Groceries (start with what you know, then write down what you eat monthly for each member of the family for each week.)
7. Gas allowance and car miscellaneous (oil changes and the like)
8. Lunches
9. Pet food and such (dog food, cat food, cat litter...)
10. Vet bills, dry cleaning, etc.
11. Savings allowance
12. Fun allowance

Write it all down. Put a realistic/actual bill amount next to each item. Add them up. Do they add up to your monthly income? Are you over extended?

The next step is to figure out where/how you can cut back, if you are over extended, to be within your budget.

The step after that is to pay down your debt. Take one credit card and pay it off. Feel good. :) Do it again (if necessary).

Save an emergency fund.

Start paying yourself in advance... 401K, savings, IRA, CDs...

For me, I'm paying down debt. I've cut back, way back. I've never lived over my budget, or so I thought. But when you add the credit cards... you see it all adds up and you're likely over budget. Or why else would you use your credit cards every month? Right? You say you don't need it, but think about it. I don't like having to rely on them. The interest is obscene.

I put some of my savings into CD's this month. I use a Credit Union (which I HIGHLY recommend if you can get into one where you live)... because they always have higher CD rates than the normal banks.

By coming up with a plan to get things paid off, I can get my savings boosted back up here soon!! That feels really good :)

Peace.

Frugal and saving

I'm going to see if this blogger's challeng of saving $1000 in 30 days can actually work for me... here are his first 6 steps:

• Tip #1: Pack lunches for the rest of the week
• Tip #2: Turn your thermostat down 3 degrees
• Tip #3: Sell something on eBay today
• Tip #4: Involve your friends in your savings challenge
• Tip #5: Optimize your cellphone bill
• Tip #6: Use gas prices to become your own hedge fund

1. I currently already bring my lunch almost daily. If I eat out once in a month, that's a big deal.

2. I turn the thermostat WAY down when we're gone for the day. Currently, it is off during the day because the outside temperature is supposed to be in the 50's or above. My downfall is when I sleep. I can't sleep in a cold house.

3. Sis is going to sell a couple of things for me on eBay. I don't really have luck with that. But I might try craigslist or something.

4. I'm trying to get my friends involved with savings right now... especially due to the hit to the economy.

5. I optimized my cell phone bill in March, actually.

6. Hedge fund the gas prices, seems pretty realistic. It just means that the money I'm *not* spending right now on gas, I should put in a high-yield (as high as i can find, anyway) account (and not spend it!!) to help for when the prices do go back up. I'm going to look into this.

Peace.

water heater

I had to get a new water heater last week. Not real exciting stuff, but necessary. So, I was lucky that a friend of mine put it in for me. Saved me $240!! :) Sweet. I'm all about saving money. It works well, and looks great. I'm so pleased! Now, I've got to get the old one out to the curb.

I've heard people complaining lately that home ownership isn't worth it... the expense out weigh the ownership. For me, I don't feel that way. I do realize there are things that have to be updated and cost money each year. But, so far, it's been realistic and not too overwhelming. I bet, though, if you had an old house, or one with a lot of problems, it would feel different.

Anyway, the only other home repair that I want to get done this spring is getting my whole house fan fixed... :)

Peace.

Goals and personal finance

I am a very goal-oriented woman. I love goals. I like making them, and I like working through the process of getting to the finish line of the goal. It's my nature. It's not other people's nature, though. Which, sometimes I find odd. ;-)

I have highly likely written about my goals for this year already, but I am working every week to make my goals a reality.

#1 Goal: Pay off credit cards by 12/31/09.

I'm pretty well on my way to doing this. Yes, part of my tax return helped. I've cut spending back to the bare minimum. Which, kind of sucks. I like to shop... but I like to be out of debt more!! haha. Progress to date: I have 6 (yes, 6) credit cards. As of tomorrow, 3 of them will be paid off! The other 3 had larger balances, so it's going to take longer, but 2 of the 3 should be paid off by September and the last one by December. Whew. :)

My bigger deal, though, is the line of credit (against my house) I took out last year to help with my own credit cards (yeah, right) and Sister's divorce and credit cards... Ugh. That's a biggie. And, even though I have like 20 years to pay it off... I'd like to get it paid in the next 2 or 3. So, that's a bit more daunting. Lesson learned, by the way. Debt consolidation can hurt you... by giving you more debt if you're not careful! Of course, it was the best option at the time, and I do not regret it.

Oh, and now the University wants to buy said house. Let's hope and pray I get enough to cover the house pay off and the line of credit. That would be very helpful. Very. I'm not sure when this house buying thing will happen, but it could happen as soon as next year, and I'd like to be prepared to buy another one.

Anyway, goal setting is pretty easy for me. I like making a plan. But I know others who aren't so good at it. I wonder during these times how they are going to make it. Because to get your money situation under control, you really need a plan. Dare I say it, a budget. Budgets aren't bad, actually. I never really understood that, or liked them until this year. They felt constricting.

However, I learned that you put yourself and some fun money IN the budget and it doesn't feel as constricting!! Yes, things might be tight, but you've got to allow (or at least I do) for some spending money, or you might go off the deep-end and spend too much!

For a couple of years now I've been putting other things first instead of my own personal financial freedom... So, this year, I'm trying to get back on the right track. Looks like I can make it, and I'm really thankful / grateful for that.

Peace.

Giving our all

What if... we gave everything?

Show and Tell - Nephew Imagination

For my show and tell for Stirrup Queens:

My nephew has been participating in a group called Destination Imagination this season! They came up with a "tragedy" yesterday....(could have been comedy or tragedy)


Sis said: "The Destination Imagination (DI) getting ready to do their Instinct Messaging. They had to choose between a comedy or a tragedy, theirs was a tragedy. The animals escape the zoo only to get caught in super sticky gum, the zoo keeper tazes them and puts them back in the only cage that hasn't been broken."

Auntie M is so very proud of her Chasey-man!!! He called me all excited this morning about losing his 4th tooth in a couple of weeks and how much fun he had yesterday at this DI event!!! He's 8 years old, and quite the creative little guy, if I do say so!!

Love you to both... xoxo

Peace.

Sis update

Sis has officially gotten custody of my nephew! They are still following the shared parenting, so it doesn't change much until the fall, when she can put him in the school by her. But, I hope this bodes well for the final divorce hearing in june. God, please. It's been a rough go for them, but Nephew needs to be with his Mom. That is for sure. I hope it happens soon.

But for now, we're relishing the tiny win of custody!! :D

Sis seems to be doing a little better overall, too. She doesn't get paid what she's worth at her job, and I"m trying to convince her to try to get the to give her more money, or move somewhere else where she can get more. It'll take time, but it is a definite need.

As for me, I got a new cell phone this week. I love it. I've been trying to lower my monthly budget bills, and this was one way. Which means other things can get paid. It also means Sis won't be on my plan for now, but that will actually save us money. So, let's see how it goes. I felt kind of bad about it, but I think it might work out OK. And, I'm totally digging the fact that my new cell phone battery is still at 3 bars, and it's been since Wed that I got it!!! WOOT.

I'm looking into digital home phone service, to see if I can cut another $10 a month off that one. It has been a pain in my behind for awhile... I don't use it much at home, b/c I use my cell... but I feel like I need the basics... which seem to stay around 40-50 each month! UGH. So, I'm determined to make a change somehow. Even if that means getting a 2nd cell and keeping that one at home or something. I don't know yet.

Sis has the same issues. So, we've been working on our budgets for this year. Really trying to be more frugal day to day... My number one goal this year is to get my credit cards paid off. Must.do.

I realize that it seems kind of silly to nickel and dime some bills... but I live by the rule that EVERY LITTLE BIT COUNTS. :) so... there you have it. If you're trying to budget, just remember that encouraging little tidbit. 'Cause it all adds up. Believe you me.

Peace.

A bit off this week

It seems so odd to me that the time has changed already. I am still not quite used to it... yes, i do realize it's only and hour and it's been a week already!! It just seems to early to do the DST change already... oh well. I'm going to try to get back on track this weekend!!

So, a couple of months ago, I got my hair cut off. Not sure if I mentioned that here or not. But I thought I'd post an updated pic... just 'cause there's not much else to write about tonight. I had a trim last week, but nothing major. I'm going to let it grow for awhile! :) Lil M also had her FIRST-EVER hair trim last Thursday (3/7/09), too. I now have hair for her baby book.


Oh, and it looks like Senate Bill 68 won't pass this go around. Woot! Thank GOD for sure.

Peace.

Plugging along

Plugging or plodding... I don't know, but we're getting through the week. Lil M hasn't been taking naps like she needs to for the past 3 days. :( That messes us up... got to get her back on track. It was my fault, actually. We went to the Zoo on Saturday, and she had a late nap. She love the Zoo, of course, and I didn't feel like we could pass up such an absolutely gorgeous day. Then we had company Saturday night... more about that later... Sunday, we went to the Shriners' Circus. Another first for her. She got to ride a camel. That was fun to watch!! But, no nap at all. So, yesterday, she didn't take one at daycare. :( I'm sure it doesn't help that daylight savings came this past weekend, too.

So, what do other parents do to get their children back on schedule with naps???

As for the company on Saturday night, we had a girls-night-in... I had invited some girl friends, with and without kids, to come over. It happened that we were all Mamas there, and had 4 kiddos with 5 adults. We had pizza and wine (water/milk for the kids, of course). We had a blast!

My other question is, how do you decompress? Or get your adult-mommy time in? Do you have get-togethers? Do you go out? Get a sitter?

I haven't broken down and gotten a sitter, yet. But I think that day will come!! :) We had such a great time this weekend, though. And, that made it ALL worth it!

Peace.

Lil M is 2.5 today

My baby is officially 2.5 years old today. :) She can count to 10, loves to sing the ABC's (acd, mommy), and is doing really well on the potty-training. She loves the dogs, and can actually call them by name now! She says bye to all of them in the morning... including the cat. :) Her favorite toy is still her "Meow". But she loves her blocks and to be read to... daily! She still loves the up-down game, pattacake, and peek-a-boo. :)

So, since she is 30 months old... and was adopted 9.5 months old, came to the USA at 10 months old. :) So, She's been with me for over 20 months now! YEAH!!!

She's the light of my life for sure.

Peace.

If you aren't married, you aren't good enough

Apparently, here in the State of KY, if you aren't married (but choose to live with the love of your life), they want to make a law to keep you from adopting or fostering a child.

Create a new section of KRS Chapter 199 to prohibit the approval of foster care, relative caregiver services, or adoption of a child by an applicant who is cohabiting with a sexual partner outside of a marriage that is legally valid in Kentucky; create the short title "The Child Welfare Adoption Act"; exempt children placed for adoption prior to the effective date of this Act; amend KRS 199.470 to conform.

It in my opinion is beyond reprehensible. How they can create a law to HURT children, by taking away viable homes is beyond me. Yes, there always needs to be criteria to make sure the children are safe. But this is ridiculous.

And very close to saying all singles can't adopt or foster.

For shame KY.

If you want to send a letter Here is the link to the Senators of KY:

http://www.lrc.ky.gov/whoswho/county.htm

http://eqfed.org/campaign/family


Peace.

Off track

I got a little off track there for a few days with my thankful posts, huh? Well, things here have been pretty good. Fairly laid back and quiet. I'm pretty anxious to get my tax return, but other than that... all is well.

So, what am I thankful for today?
1. yummy turkey meatloaf
2. my job
3. the snow has melted
4. the dogs can get out and play
5. Lil M is asking to go potty more and more

Peace.

Friday night thoughts

Today has been pretty non-eventful, but good. The weather is getting a little warmer, the dogs seem to be doing a little better... and Lil M and I had a relaxing evening at home. Good stuff. I'm feeling a little bored and tired, so will be off to bed soon!!

GiST 2/6
Thankful for:
1. my job, having a job in this economy
2. my co-workers... it is SO SO SO different than my last job.
3. eggs (they make great meals... so long as i don't think about it too much, lol yes, i'm nuts)
4. music - has such an impact on my life so often
5. cloth diapers - laundry isn't too bad, and i don't feel like i'm hurting the env't as bad. it's all relative.

Nothing special going on this weekend, except errands and visiting family... maybe. Sis has a cold and I'm not sure we want to go if she's sick.

We might end up going anyway, 'cause it's been like 4 weeks since we've seen her!! YIKES. We had a little celebrating to do over the Judge awarding her custody of her son after the last hearing. Jake was supposed to show proof of health insurance, and he didn't. So, Mindy's lawyer submitted the docs. We don't have the official paperwork yet, but it is still a great move forward.

Peace.

Adoption...

Nothing major going on today. This past week I got my finances in order (ok, the budget, anyway)... and it's got me back to thinking about a 2nd adoption. I've been reading a blog about a lady who is a Single Mom by Choice (SMC) and has 3 children already...but is adopting 2 more! Wow. I don't have dreams of having 5... but perhaps a 2nd wouldn't kill me after all!! LOL

Thankful for:
1. other moms who have been there done that (btdt)
2. maggi moo (my sheltie) and her smarts... just because
3. sleep!
4. the ability to freeze leftovers
5. Bones - the show

Peace

GiST 2/4

I'm a bit crabby tonight, so let's see what I can come up with!! lol

thankful for the little things:
1. breakfast for dinner
2. being able to take a 1/2 hour lunch at work
3. heat
4. my blanket from Mexico (not sure why, but it is one of my faves)
5. slippers

Yes, I'm cold today. My menu is sort of working so far... I know it's only been a day, but last night we had leftovers and tonight I made egg/hashbrown scramble and an english muffin. I'll make the quiche tomorrow night, probably. I didn't tonight because I had to go to the grocery and then clean up after one of the dogs when I got home. By then, I was NOT in the mood to really cook. So, I improvised. :)

I've been reading other folks "easy" and "cheap" meal night suggestions. That is one of mine - breakfast for dinner. Anything with eggs, really. We also do a lot of rice and beans, some pastas. Other suggestions are welcome. :)

Peace.

First time menu

So, I came up with a list of menu items for the month yesterday. I figure making 4 real meals a week gives me lunches and leftovers for the other 3 days. If we don't have enough then we'll have something frozen, or I'll make something additional. I've also added re-use meals, where I will use something from a previous meal that I know I will have plenty of in a new meal. You will likely notice we eat a lot of beans and rice in different combos. :)

Here goes...

Week 1
Goulash
Turkey meatloaf, veggie
Quiche - veggie and hashbrowns
Tacos/burritos (w/ beans)

Week 2
Chili
turkey dogs w/ beans & veggie
taquitos w/ veggie
chicken & rice w/veggie
breakfast for dinner

Week 3
Cabbage soup w/ rice
mini pizzas
lentils w/ rice
turkey burgers
re-use meal - lentil filled burritos

Week 4
spaghetti
bean soup (w/ rice)
stuffed peppers
chicken w/rice & veggie
re-use meal - veggie burgers w/ bean soup

GiST 2/3

1. grocery list
2. Lil M and i were walking downstairs and she was carrying Mommy's lunch bag...she wanted to carry the other one with cookies in it, too, and part way down the stairs she handed it to me... I said is it too much? She said - yes, Too Much!! ;-) Like she knew just exactly what I meant. hehe. Then I had to tell her she was "too much" haha
3. Lil M asking to go potty twice again this morning... and going.
4. home-made lunches
5. organic 1% milk - YUM

Peace.

GiST (grace in small things) 2/2

I'm thankful for:

1. budgets (yes, i just wrote that)
2. Lil M told me not once, but twice this morning that she had to go potty before we left the house... she only went once, but it was cool.
3. slippers
4. coffee
5. that sis finally had her pre-trial hearing for the big D and that it went ok (ok, that was a bigger thing, but still thankful for it today!!)

What are you thankful for today?

Peace.

Grace in the little things

There's a site that is doing a Grace in small things for the year of 2009. I found it last week, but just really looked it up this morning. I love the concept. So, I'm going to try to add my list as often as I can. Basically, list 5 things that are blessings for that day. Small stuff.

1. Brooke Fraser music
2. The song "Almost Lover"... not sure why, but I just love this song.
3. When Mia lays with me and snuggles my neck.
4. M Asam hand cream. I'm addicted to the scent.
5. Egg sandwiches.

Peace.

Couldn't resist!

**Thanks for the comments about being under the weather. I'm feeling better, but one of the dogs has had potty issues today. Not fun. I'm hoping Lil M doesn't get the cold I had... she has seemed like she might be today.

This is so true... and doesn't just pertain to significant others. lol

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission.. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome.. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' .. that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

Peace.

What do you do

What do you do when you are sick and have a baby in the house? As little as possible... right?

Several people at work have been sick for the past couple of weeks. And, I started feeling pretty yucky today. :( So, I tried to keep Lil M occupied in her room so that she wasn't breathing my cooties all day. For now it is cold symptoms and a tummy issue. I think the tummy issue is a separate issue. I am praying she doesn't get ill... And I HATE being sick. Thankfully, we've been sick less (so far) this winter than last winter.

So, today has been a very laid back kind of day. I did take a nap while Lil M was napping. I'm wondering how others keep their kiddos occupied when they aren't feeling well.

Dinner

I did just think of something I could share today. I decided to make some black beans in the crock pot for dinner tonight. So, last night I pulled out the dried beans, (rinsed, cleaned) and soaked them over night. I cut up some onion and put some spices together in the pot this morning. Oh, and I added a little leftover turkey breast cutlet that I had.

Tonight, we will have beans. Not sure how yet... I have 3 meals planned for the beans.
1. beans and rice
2. stuffed green peppers (with rice and tomato sauce added)
3. bean burritos (with onions, rice and maybe some ground turkey or chicken)

If I get lazy, we'll just have it as soup! lol But right now, I think we're going to at least have beans and rice tonight for dinner. Yum.

I like to cook this way, because it makes it easier overall for me. I know we're eating well, but I don't have to cook *big* meals every day.

What about you? Is there anyone out there who wants to share how they handle daily/weekly meal planning? I'd love to hear from you!!

Peace.

Updates

It seems I'm having a little tougher time updating this blog than my normal one... sorry about that!

I've been reading a lot lately about being more frugal, green and self-sufficient (homesteading, gardening, canning). I like to consider myself more "green" than most, but there are things that I definitely like that are comforts. For example, I do line dry some clothes in the summer, but I don't do ALL of them, and I don't do ALL of them indoors in the winter. I do use a clothes dryer. I would imagine most people do. But it is kind of cool line drying them, and knowing I don't *have* to use electricity for absolutely everything... 'cause, let's face it, I use it for a lot!! lol

Try going without electricity for even a few minutes, and you'll know what I'm talking about. Besides leaving the fridge on, I think I could manage it for a day here and there.

I don't really have anything good to write about today... Mia is good. Things have calmed down here a bit with the job I took in October. I didn't realize just how awful a job could make your personal life, when you have a child that you're worrying about, too. I mean, when you're single and no kids... if work sucks, it isn't the end of the world (not great, but not a deal breaker). Times have changed for me, though, and that was definitely difficult.

Don't get me wrong, I still worry. ha. But, it's mostly because I am a consultant right now, and I would feel better if it were a permanent job. Still praying for that!!

Peace.

Article

About Single Mother Adoption

The Role of the Single Mother in Adoption of Children from the Child Welfare System

By Penelope L. Maza, PhD, U.S. Children's Bureau

From the Child Welfare League of America

Until recently, national information on the adoption of children by single women from the public child welfare system was unavailable. The Adoption and Foster Care Analysis and Reporting System (AFCARS), established by law and administered by the U.S. Children's Bureau, is now providing this information. As the information presented here indicates, single women are a critical component in achieving permanency for children in the child welfare system, and they play a particularly important role in the adoption of African American non-Hispanic children.

Close to one-third (31%) of the estimated 36,000 children adopted from the public child welfare system in fiscal year 1998 were adopted by single women. Almost two-thirds (66%) of single women, more than two-thirds (70%) of the children they adopted, were African American non-Hispanic. Almost two-thirds (65%) of the single women had been the child's foster parent, and more than one in five (21%) were related to the child. In more than three-fourths (77%) of these adoptions, the child was of the same race or ethnicity as the single adoptive mother.

When compared with adoptive married couples, single adoptive women are more than twice as likely as married couples to be African American and non-Hispanic (70% vs. 31%) and are somewhat more likely to adopt children of their own race or ethnicity (84% vs. 71%). In addition, single female adoptive parents are about as likely as married couples to have been the child's foster parent (65% vs. 63%), more likely to have been the child's relative (21% vs. 13%), and less likely to not have had a prior relationship with the adoptive child (14% vs. 24%). Overall, the children whom single women adopt are older than the children whom married couples adopt. The average age of the children adopted by single women is 7.2 years; the average age of children adopted by married couples is 6.3 years. In addition, the time from termination of parental rights to adoption for children adopted by single women is slightly longer than for children adopted by married couples (17 months vs. 15 months).

It has generally been assumed that children adopted by single women may be the children for whom it is most difficult to find adoptive homes. AFCARS provides information on the primary special needs for children adopted. Based on this information, single women are somewhat more likely than married couples to adopt a child whose primary special need is race or ethnicity (18% vs.12%), or a child whose primary special need is age (43% vs. 27%). In contrast, single adopting women are less likely than married couples to adopt a child whose primary special need is having a medical condition or a mental, physical, or emotional disability (14% vs. 22%), or whose primary special need is being a member of a sibling group (14% vs. 22%).

In conclusion, the significant role played by single women who adopt children from the child welfare system in providing permanency for a substantial proportion of the children waiting to be adopted cannot be underestimated. Although they are less likely than married couples to adopt sibling groups or children with disabilities, they are more likely to adopt minority children and older children. At the end of FY 1998, the average age of waiting children was 8, and 53% of the waiting children were African American non-Hispanic. For these children, and for waiting children in general, single adopting women will continue to play a critical role in helping them achieve permanency.

All you need is love...

Isn't that a song? All you need is love.... well, some folks in the adoption world believe that all you do need is love to build a family. And while I believe that love is extremely necessary, I also believe that other things are necessary, as well.

Respect - respecting your child's origins (birth country, biological family, race, heritage...etc) is very important. We can't belittle any of it. And, frankly, I wouldn't want to. Yes, my daughter is an American. But she's also Chinese. So, with that comes some responsibility on my part to figure out how to help her love and respect both aspects of her life. The same goes with her bio family. There are biological lines/ties there that are inherently a part of her. I respect that. I do not know her beginnings. That deeply saddens me. And I mourn her loss as well as that of her bio family. But I also know that she and I are building a family, and that I get to help build another part of her familial line...

Willingness - a willingness to learn and be open to your child's pain, hurt, questions, fears, successes, differences, beliefs. It is my responsibility to my daughter to be open to what our lives bring...and especially to help her learn to become her own person and traverse all the feelings, joys, pressures, hurts along the way. I do believe this will include her adoption story.

Education - I believe that we, as adoptive parents, are responsible to be as informed and educated as we can regarding adoption, transracial adoption and identity, and our children's birth country. I'm never going to know as much as I could know... but it is my responsibility to TRY.

Focus - we need to focus on our own children. That has meant that I've taken almost a year for Mia and I to spend mostly together... and will continue to do what it takes to make sure she knows she is my number 1 priority and that she can trust/count on me. I do not think this is adoption specific.

And, of course, then there is love. Love is very key. Without it, the other things are just an empty shell. I'm sure there are other things, but these are what came to mind to me today.

Peace.

Mundane

This weekend was spent cleaning... it seems like cleaning, laundry, dishes, etc, is a never-ending chore!! And when I get behind, it makes it even worse. Thankfully, I think I got almost everything caught up this weekend, except the dusting and mopping.

I've gone through my clothes several times this fall and have bagged up what I don't wear. I've been trying to do an overhaul in my closet and get things hung up that I used to put in drawers. I feel like I have so much, but can never find what I'm looking for, so I've been determined to change that!

So, while this is all the usual boring and mundane crap, I felt like it really needed to be done. This is the first time since I became a Mom that I feel like I can take a breath... it was a good, productive weekend at home.

Now, if I could get back to sleeping well...

Oh, Mia's new phrases:

"I did it!!" (after putting her puzzle together!)
"I done...." (i'm done eating mommy)
"I walk" (when she wants down to walk)

OH!! And, she can count to 10 with me! She will count to 3 by herself... but she can actually count to 10. Pretty understandable, too. That's what we did this weekend.

Peace.

Can't have just one??

I'm sitting here as I've done quite a lot over the past couple of months trying to figure out if / how / should i... adopt again. Frankly, I don't have the money right now. I do believe that if this is meant for me, us, then God will provide. And, there will be a way. And, then there is this yearning... for a sibling for my sweet Lil M.

If you could lift your heart to God for this prayer, I would be so thankful. I just need to know that this is the right direction...

Peace.

day in the life...

So, this week seems to be getting off to a busy start. We got home Sunday from Sis' house. I did dishes and laundry and put presents up. Yesterday, I did more dishes, laundry, garbage night, dinner, mia bath, mama-mia time (she was particularly tired last night 'cause she didn't have a nap)... then got to get online for a bit. Tonight we have to take Manna, my 14.5 year old cat, to the Vet. :(

Tomorrow is family dinner up in Tri-county.
Thurs is play date with MK and MK2.
Meet with a consultant firm after work and then company Christmas party.

Looks like the next time I will sit down and relax is Saturday!! This all on top of normal daily stuff, like mentioned above. Seems like when it rains it pours... I'm not really complaining, just feels like a lot this week is all.

Peace.

Holiday planning

Divorce sucks. Oh, you probably already know that, and I've never had to go through it myself but it does. My nephew didn't get to be with us on Thanksgiving and the same will be true for Christmas this year. :( So, our normal traditions get bagged, and we have to do something a little different. We're trying to keep things as much the same as possible, but there will be some differences. Like, my dad, Grandpa won't be able to come over Christmas Eve morning to do our normal Christmas morning stuff because he is working. Oh well. One step at a time...

I got my Christmas tree up last night. It wasn't too hard. Lil M watched me from her high chair. She did help me "fluff" the tree a little, and she loves the lights. I think this Christmas is going to be fun for her! Well, and for me, since I'll get to watch her react to all the new stuff. She was here last year, but she is much more interested this time.

We're thinking of going to see some lights at the Zoo or Clifton Mill, but we've got to figure out when a) it isn't too cold, b) when my nephew will be with us, c) my dad isn't working, d) when it isn't too late during the week because Mia goes to bed by 8pm. Let's see if we can get it organized!! lol

Even still, things are great here... just wish it wasn't always quite so complicated!

Peace.