Friday, October 29, 2010


I'm taking a class this semester toward my masters program. It's going pretty well, so far. I guess at midterm, I have an A- ...and am hoping to make that a solid A by the end of the semester. I also got kudos at work yesterday... which feels great, compared to the crud I went through before.

Yesterday, T read the speech she wrote about me for her class. It made me cry (of course). She said I am a good role model... and that even though I might be late (getting places), I'm always dependable. That was very sweet. I want her to know that I'm dependable. She got a couple dates wrong, but overall, it was a really great speech.

Lil M is quite intuitive and she's doing great. More later.


Friday, October 22, 2010

Walk On

Listening to a song right now called Walk On by Susan Ashton. She is one of my faves, and I wish she would put out some new music...

Ok, so this month has been quite busy! T's birthday was the 4th and then the baby shower was the 24th.

I had a project to work on in the past couple of weeks for my class, and we gave a presentation last weekend (a week ago). Then this weekend along with the baby shower, we had a foster conference to go to. It was all day and pretty good, but it was a very long day. We cleaned the house top to bottom... and got the food ready. Thankfully, I had some help from my friend MK who did some shopping for me!!! She's an angel.

Lil M also had her very first-ever sleepover at MK and MK2's house Friday night!! Apparently, it went pretty well. :) I was a little stressed just because of being separated overnight, but there are few people I trust more than MK to hang with Mia, so that quickly dissipated. :)

T's baby shower went well. We are truly, truly blessed to have the family and friends we do. My goal was to show her what support looked like, and I think I achieved that goal. :D We had tons of snacks, T opened baby gifts and then we played (what I affectionately call) stupid baby games. LOL. Actually, they weren't stupid. They were quite fun. We had a token male at the party (Michelle, aka Mike...). He was quite good at the baby games, and won almost all of them!! I got to play, too, 'cause I didn't set up the games at all. And I won the m&ms in the baby bottle.

T's got the baby room almost all set up. We just want to get some letters to paint and hang on the wall with his name.

Lil M is doing great. Last night we went through some letters and phonetics together. At the shower, she played with Auntie Ellen a lot... drawing outside on the patio with chalk and they did great! She also had Ellen pretend to take a nap in her room... where Lil M covered her up and took 'good' care of her. :) It was cute.

We had a great turnout... Dana and Aria; Devi and Tiffany; Mike; Amy with Becky and Eli; Mimi with C and Abbi and Amy; Ellen; MK and MK2 and Benny; Grandma Heaton; Penny and Mary (T's Mom and Gma); Christina, Laura and Lisa (from SAFY); Beth (state); Debbie (T's bus driver); Emily, Sarah and Chelsea (T's friends); Kim (work)...

28 people plus Me, Lil M and T... so 31 of us there! (i hope i didn't forget anyone!)

So, we're hanging in there. Hope you are, too!


Friday, October 15, 2010

we're all broken in some way

I had some banter back and forth with a friend of mine today. They were remarking about how my FD has made a mistake and that it was "ignorant" ...and that I'm a saint because I choose to be OK with the situation. Ignorant in that there is a plethora of birth control options and any teenager in their right mind would use them. Well, while not using something could be perceived as ignorant... there are other reasons people don't use them. I don't think those make a person ignorant in their decision. Gullible? Deluded? Hopeful?

We all make mistakes. We all want to be loved. Or are too trusting. Or want to fix someone else's broken-ness. Sometimes the things we do to try to get love, or feel love, don't coincide with what society tells us is right or good. I've made my fair share of mistakes and I will not condemn her for making one. My only issue with her being pregnant is her age and my concern for her finishing school (preferably college). It just makes things a bit more complicated and harder... because she doesn't just have to think of herself now, she has to think of a whole other person and make her goals allign with that fact.

As far as my being a saint. Puulease. I don't think of myself in that way because my thought is... if I'm equally as broken how can i judge my child or another person for being broken, too? I don't think that's fair.

So, while T might not think I'm overly excited about her having a baby, I think she does know that I'm not upset with her. I can be concerned for her and still be excited about the new life. I guess it just tempers my reaction a little bit.


Wednesday, October 13, 2010

stocking up

As a single Mom of two... I try to economize when and where I can. I like to get extras at the store, so I can make less trips. I do some bulk shopping, but way less than my larger family counterparts.

Some recent examples:

Cereal - cereal has been on sale at my normal store for the past few weeks. We've probably got 8 or more boxes at the house now. We eat quite a bit of cereal, and I like to get it for $2.00 or less a box. Right now, some of it is $1.65 or so a box. I will likely get a couple of more boxes this week, if I can. We eat it for breakfast and snacks.

Frozen meals - i like to get these for $2.00 or less ea., as well. I take these for lunches quite often, and T eats them for after school snack/light meal. Last week I found them for approx $1.68 each if you bought 10. So, I did.

Anyway, those were my two recent finds. I do the same with soups. Got a few for 10 for $10 last week.

On another note, I really like my new job. The role fits well with my personality and the team is fantastic. Lil M is doing well and has her last soccer class/practice tonight for the fall. I think we'll likely do it again in the spring. She seemed to like the basketball camp, too, but does a bit better with the soccer. T is doing well, and we're just moving along...


Monday, October 4, 2010

the big day

My foster daughter turns 18 today. When she came to live with us last year, she was adament that she would leave on this day. After a little while, she changed her mind and said she would stay until she graduates. Then she got pregnant and we had a bumpy time there for a bit. She wavered on when she would leave. Then she said she would stay. She plans to stay until she graduates, or until next summer sometime... hopefully, until she gets into college.

But today is the big day. I'm wondering how things will be after today. If she gets mad at me will she just pick up and leave one day? Or have we built enough of a relationship that she'll have enough sense to stay even if something like that happens? I pray it is the latter.

From my perspective, it's kind of hard to believe she's been with me since December, almost 10 months now. I can say that time has truly flown by. 10 months ago, I was afraid of what might happen and how I'd manage to actually be a Foster Parent. I didn't know if I could do it. Would she get along with Lil M? Would Lil M be OK... and like her? What would our lives look like, and would it be OK?

It's kind of odd, I went through all the classes and have adopted, so I thought I knew how it might feel bringing another person into the house, into our family. I didn't realize I'd start with a teenager. And I didn't realize how it might make me feel to have someone new in the house that wasn't a baby.

I quickly got over any fears I had (though, it didn't feel quick at the time), and just allowed myself to act and treat her as a parent would. I set minimal rules at first, and then modified those through the first few months. She wouldn't agree, but I have tried to give her the freedom of a teenager, while staying consistent with specific things (like being home at a certain time, asking permission and such).

She has made a few choices that will lead her down a slightly different path than I thought she might go, but she's still on target to graduate and to get into college. But along the way, she'll need to learn how to be a Mom on her own, as well. She's shown responsibility and I know she wants to succeed. I pray that she gives me the opportunity to continue to be her "Mommy". As I've told her many times... I'm in this for a relationship, not a title. I would be very happy if she continues to stay with us for as long as she wants, provided she follows the plan and rules we've agreed to. I don't say that to be 'conditional', only to say that she is an adult as of today and she can make other choices that could impact her living with us. Though, I don't have huge fear for that. Just need to be honest about how I feel. I will continue to show her love and mercy and think that Lil M would be sad if she wasn't with us. She has grown to be a part of our family, and even if she leaves, we won't stop loving her.

I pray that I will be writing another similar post about this next October. I hope she is with us that long. She wants me to be the baby's Mommaw, and that's what I will be. We'll have a shower for her this month, and I'm getting excited about that.

Who would have known all this would happen in 10 months of knowing her... she has made me a better Mom, because I listen a little closer to her and Lil M's needs. We have invited her family to her birthday and baby shower. We got the chance to go to T's nephew's birthday last week, too. I hope that we can join forces to help T succeed. That would be wonderful.

The funny thing is... it seems like she's been with us for a lot longer than she has. We have a nice little family and I am so thankful to God for that.


Sunday, October 3, 2010


T's birthday is tomorrow. We're gonna go to dinner and have cake. I think it'll be nice. She is way excited. She said today that she wishes I didn't have to work tomorrow, 'cause she wanted to spend the day with me. I thought that was sweet. (especially after last week when she said to someone that i wasn't 'even her real mom'.... of course, i do know that is a normal teenage thing to say and that means, i hope, that she does actually feel something towards me.) I hope things don't change too much and she still realizes that I want to help her.

Anyway, I'm kind of excited that it is her birthday and will post pics, I'm sure!