Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Quiet after the rush

This week has been quiet after last week's rush to Christmas. This is affording me the opportunity to get caught up on my budget, bills, laundry, etc... I want to go through Lil M's and my clothes and her toys this week and make another trip to the local thrift store. I'd also like to maybe get some quilting done this week... for the first time in many months. Basically, I'd like to stay close to home and get the basics done and rest.

This is a good time to pause and reflect on the year behind us as well as the upcoming year. For me, it was a life-changing year. At the end of 2009 I took my foster placement of the then 17 YO "T". She is a good girl. She's had a tougher life than any child should have to have, and yet she's responsible, capable and respectful to those she cares about. Under the tough talk there is a sweet girl who just wants to be loved. She changed my parenting for the better. She challenged me. I was able to see God's grace in her by the mere fact that she was broken and yet there was always hope.

You can't put or demand the same expectations from a broken child that you can a protected child. Their motives may seem objectionable sometimes, but they are always operating out of a place of "hurt" not health. They didn't necessarily learn the same manners or rules other children do. They were taught to fend for themselves, no matter what, from a very early age. They are taught that you can trust no one. Everyone is out to hurt you or use you. No wonder they lash out. No wonder they don't trust us. No wonder they put walls up.

T left our home Dec 11. Lil M and I both miss her and I pray that she is doing well. I pray for her child, too. And I pray that I've touched her heart like she's touched mine. We had our ups and downs, but frankly we had many more ups than downs. I'm thankful for that, and am hoping that I helped her along her way... and that she remembers us.

As for the coming year, I do wonder what'll come on the fostering front. We'll see. In addition to that, I am working on my Masters program and am hoping to enjoy it.

Lil M will start kindergarten next August, which just amazes me. She is the light of my life. We're having fun right now and Christmas was nice. Not sure what we'll do yet on New Years. We might go see a movie or get one that we like at home. I doubt she'll make it until the ball drops, but this might be the first year to try. :)


1 comment:

Laraf123 said...

Your words about fostering a hurt child ring true for the work I do in the classroom, too. Many of the children who come to me for just a few hours a day are broken (and doing their best to hide the brokeness). I will try to remember what you said here. I hope you and little M have a wonderful New Year's holiday. If either of you make it to see the ball drop, you'll be way ahead of me!