Tuesday, April 26, 2011
First, I have enjoyed both experiences for different reasons. I was kind of surprised I liked fostering a teen. She is a good girl, even though she has her own issues (don't we all). The thing that kind of makes me sad at this point is that she doesn't seem to like Lil M as much as I thought she did earlier on... maybe that is because she is more into her Baby G now... or, well, I have no idea. I do know that Lil M still considers her a sister and I like that. T has always been good with Lil M, I'm not saying anything like that. She is going to graduate, which I'm extremely happy about. Let's see where her next chapter leads.
B is my 2.5YO and it has been a blessing to be able to have a little one in the house with us. Yes, I've gotten attached, as has she with me. Her Mamaw (gma) said as much in the past few days. My response was that it is better to be attached than not. Even if that means pain for me later.
Dealing with her family can be somewhat trying at times. They are nice enough people, don't get me wrong, it's just that the gma wants custody of B... and can be a little catty with me at times. I do know she likes me, but is in a difficult position. I think she "wants" B because she feels obligated "she's family"... but what B needs is a Mommy...
I do know that the goal is always reunification. I am not even saying that I have a right to B. But I can't help believing and praying that I am the right choice for now and hope that continues. I like parenting her and I wish she could stay as long as possible. I love seeing her progress. I love tucking her in at night. I love it that Lil M and she get to be sisters.
Of course, it is a bit scary how this all might affect Lil M in the long run. I hope and pray that I am making the right decisions for the both of us. I want her to know that we help people because we can. And that it is the right thing to do. And that God loves us, so shall we love each other.
Selfishly, I wish B could stay with us forever. And I pray for God's guidance and gentleness with my heart no matter if she gets to or not (likely not). I also pray for T and that we continue to be family. I do love her, too. And of course, I have the best daughter in the world in Lil M. Thank you Lord.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Baby B is still with us for now. I'm not sure how long that'll continue, but I'm thankful she's still here. It has been 5 weeks today since the court hearing and I'm not sure how much longer it'll take for the g-parents to get custody. I wish she could just stay with me. But I know the rules.
Work has been great. I like my new role and have been here now almost a month. It feels like longer. I'm in the process of trying to get a couple of resources hired and have been learning about our products and the current staff.
I'm still taking classes this semester and those will be done in a few weeks. IF I can manage the summer class, I'll be done with my Masters Certificate like I want... or it might have to wait til fall. I'm hoping to be completed with my degree sometime next year, but we'll see how much/fast I can get it done. I really want to get that class done in the summer, if at all possible. But it might mean getting a sitter each week for 6-8 weeks. that's a tough one. :(
Life here is really good and it's fairly normal. Meeting new people means sometimes feeling like sharing family stuff... which means, explaining and correcting when they say inconsiderate things. But I'm learning to take it less personally... but I do feel like I need to explain that "I've had my own child"... even though she didn't come from my body.
A friend of mine was just diagnosed with colon cancer. PLEASE send up prayers for peace and healing. Sis is still looking for a job and prayers for her would be great, as well.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Baby B's gma heard today that the state will let her know today (supposedly) if she is approved. Then she has to have her son's lawyer sign some paperwork to get it approved, too. Then Baby B will go live with them. Prayers around this situation would be nice.
Lil M came home the other day and told me she could spell her name backwards... and she did - both first and last name. And, she spelled Mommy backwards, too, almost perfectly... wow.
I haven't been feeling so well since Wed., but think I might be moving out of that now. There's going to be the final 4 games on this weekend and I plan to stay home and watch the basketball games. :) UK is in it this time and that's pretty cool. I'd like to see them win the whole thing. Let's see... Peace.