Sunday, February 21, 2010


Lil M, T and I had a fun time taking random pics last night. We didn't really do anything other than that all weekend. Sitting here in my reflection time, I'm even more convinced that life doesn't feel very fair sometimes. Don't get me wrong. My life is great. My life is greater than most, even. But do you ever feel like there's that elusive thing that's missing? Or that you can't do? Or can't get right? That's how I feel tonight. I'm frustrated with myself. Oh well.

God is good. I know that somehow my life will work out the way it should, even though I don't understand it.

The one thing I'd like to figure out? How to grow old and not do it alone.

I do have Lil M (and T, right now). But someday she will grow up and be on her own. Maybe I will try to go ahead and start a 2nd adoption, but that isn't the only reason I'd like to do that. Regardless, there will come a point... maybe God will be merciful and help me figure out how to be in a relationship with someone by then. If not, please, God, help me to figure out how to not be alone.

There you go. We all have our fears and our "stuff". I do believe that God is loving and merciful and wants us to be happy. So, I will continue to work toward my being faithful, hopeful and joyful. :)

I will tell you that Lil M and T definitely are great to have around. We got to be silly last night and Lil M is growing up so fast. She has the most beautiful spirit, that girl. :D She's my angel.


1 comment:

Demeter said...

I understand where you are coming from. I guess for me, I have not had a chance to think that far ahead of time, but ever since I had my kids, I stopped being or feeling alone. That feeling left me. I know that they will be gone at some point, but I have not paid attention to the "other" part of my life. I am sure that you will find someone in your path. Or they will find you along the way.