Thursday, November 4, 2010

With This Fall Brings Change

Everything is changing, almost daily, around here. I can hardly keep up!

The biggest change has been the move. Going from my son and I in our own house, to sharing a home with main man and best friend, B, and his three (yes, I said 3) kids. Wow! Not sure what I was thinking... haha, oh and the four dogs...

So, I had a month and a half for this move and really thought that would be plenty enough time to get it all done. With the help of a lot of people and the kids, I was able to get the keys turned in the day before the end of the month. Not too bad, considering how much stuff I have... I gave a full truck load and jeep load to Goodwill and put an unbelievable amount of boxes on the curb, that someone stopped and picked up thankfully! I felt horrible putting all that stuff out there, but we had already made two trips to Goodwill and the muffler on the truck fell off during the second trip, so I decided the rest would have to be put out on the curb. Even after getting rid of so much, there is still way too much! Our two-car garage is completely full and at some point I am going to have to pare that down some more... big fun!

Just before the decision to move, I signed up for classes and am a college student again (can you say "lifer" haha). I don't care if I'm 80 years old, I will get a degree, period. It could seriously take me that long... holy cow! What was I thinking? Obviously I wasn't ;) so now my nights are filled with homework, homework, and yes more homework.

Now, on top of this, I am also facing huge changes at work. And I sure wish I could say they are good changes, but I can't. Right now I may just be out of a job at the end of the year. I did send my resume to a few places, but haven't had any responses yet. Oh, except for all of the junk in my email box :( Ones that say something to the effect of "we received your resume and you appear to be more qualified than our other candidates ...we have selected you and 5 others out of 100 ...go to this site and complete a credit report, or test, etc." I wonder how many people fall for these?! I could really use some credible leads...

On the home front, C has been doing great. He is handling the move much better than I expected. He loves being in a neighborhood that has kids in it and sidewalks. Now he can ride his bike anytime he wants to =) Of course, with good shall come bad. His father hasn't shown up to visit on Wednesdays or weekends since the middle of September ...don't get me wrong this is not a bad thing for me necessarily, but it is for him. But again, he's handling it much better than I thought he would. Thank God he is not standing at the front door every night, crying his eyes out, looking for his Dad like he did before. So, the new house has given him something to look forward to. He did get a little upset the other day, missing his dad, and we talked about writing him a letter (since he refuses to give us a phone number to reach him at), maybe we'll get that done this weekend... In the meantime, I had a conference with his teacher and he is doing really well there too! Turns out he is a math whiz!! A+ in math, woohoo!! I'm so proud of him =D

The rest of the kids aren't fairing so well... at least not with the changes that have come about with the move, namely me... It was melt-down city around the house the other night... "You're not my mother! You're not family! I don't have to listen to you, I only have to listen to my dad!" and so on... oh yeah, big fun, let me just tell ya! ...slamming doors, stomping, it never ends. The one that bothered me the most was "blood is thicker than water"... well if you know me at all, and my sister, then you know that line means jack shit to either of us. Yes, blood relatives are important to us, don't get me wrong, but we have a relatively small "blood" family and have been blessed with "love" family... you know what I thought of when I heard her say "blood is thicker than water"? A quote by my sister (correct me if I'm wrong and it is someone elses, k?):
Ultimately I want generations after me to know this about the culture of blood and the culture of adoption: That blood is thicker than water, but love can be thicker than blood.

Amen, Sister!


Tom in Vegas said...

Is this a Shmidy post? WOW! I must admit that your English outside of Facebook is meticulous. Good job:0) I wonder how many previous posts on this blog I've made a complete ass of myself without knowing the author was someone else? (Sigh...)

Anyhoo, for better or for worse, change is inevitable. The type of change you describe, while challenging, seems to lean more towards the positive rather than the negative. That's something to be thankful for regardless of how many landmines you have to sidestep. Things can always be MUCH worse.

As far as the kids go, well...I do believe that blood is thicker than water, but like you, that axiom is NOT absolute and quickly reveals its many limitations. Somethings, like love of course, supersede genes. I think the other kids are just having initial difficulties acclimating to their new environment and way of life. Eventually, as time progresses, things will stabilize and a sense of familiarity will prevail. I think many good things will happen in the future for you guys!

Also, I wish you the best in regards to your job situation. It's an unenviable position to be in. But you know, this is just another obstacle to overcome (I know, like you need more). Eventually, there will be a solution!

Finally, when I finished reading this post, I knew that something was different. For one thing, I didn't feel as drowsy as I normally do when your sis writes it ;0) Secondly, it was very detailed and informative. I didn't feel like I was reading the book "Lunch With Dougie", which I had read back in first grade and still gives me the most difficult time.


Tom in Vegas said...

Should say, "...I do believe that blood is thicker than water, but like you, I believe that axiom is NOT absolute and quickly reveals its many limitations."

Mama Melissa said...

Sis, too sweet. :D Yep, you knew my motto on that. :) It's exactly what I thought when you told me she said it the other day.

Hang in there. I know this is a huge change for everyone. Don't take what they say as a personal attack against you, if you can... (almost impossible for me) because they are stressed, too. I am sure they realize that this is 'for real' now and it is bringing up the loss they faced with their Mom. Any time we go through stressful events, it can bring up those losses again. We know that all too well. Try to stay calm and just explain that you understand that while this is difficult, saying things like that is hurtful and if she is feeling upset maybe she needs to sit in a quiet place or tell you she needs to talk. In other words, she needs to find a better way to communicate her hurt instead of lashing out.

I could go on, but might be putting Tom asleep... lol.

Love you Min.


hobbyhungry said...

LOL, yes this is a Shmindy post ;) goof ball ;)

thank you both, i feel a little better now & i do realize that things should settle down around the house... i just hope it's sooner than later =)

Tom in Vegas said...

"I could go on, but might be putting Tom asleep..."

Thank you, Melissa.

I will remind you that I'm Mindy's manager/ agent, so all questions and comments should be directed to me and NOT Mindy. You may also submit all your written yakkety-yak to our corporate offices in Greensboro, North Carolina. They can respond to you as well (if they feel like it).

I would also like to remind you that the restraining order I had issued against you specifically states that you can come no closer than 500 feet of my profile picture. Your blah-blah here is a clear violation of this legal requirement and I am beginning to lose all patience with you. If thou continues on this path, my attorney, Gloria Allred, will unleash a firestorm of legal proceedings against thee unlike anything anyone's ever seen in the history of jurisprudence.

Perhaps you're still upset with me for booing you during your visit to the "We Like Polygamy" forum at BYU. Please know that it was nothing personal. But the evidence clearly demonstrates that the one man/ one partner arrangement doesn't work anymore and something new has to be tried. How you can still defend it is beyond me. Broaden your horizons a little bit, Melissa. You're far too somewhat young to defend outdated modalities.

Times have changed. Remember: 500 feet.

Mama Melissa said...

To whom it may concern,

I am requesting that Mindy have a new manager because I am not allowed to blah blah to the current manager (whom I must stay 500 ft away from their profile picture) ... or perhaps, I could get the restraining order lifted?

... to that end...

Doubting Thomas,

you might remember that I agreed to polygamy in the instance of one woman and multiple male husbands. what is good for the goose... question is, when your 14 wives have 14 husbands each... will that mean you're married to all of them as well? ;-) or are they just extra hired help?

Peace. :)
(who could use a harem of yard boys (men)) HAHAHA.

Tom in Vegas said...
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Tom in Vegas said...
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hobbyhungry said...

You two are too funny! And, what happened to the last two posts? It says they were deleted :(