Friday, November 7, 2008

Difference and schedule

Why is it important for me to write about being a Single mom? What difference does it make? I mean, I made this decision... have known nothing different... so, some people are probably thinking, what the heck? Who cares about your thoughts Melissa. Well, maybe no one but me and Mindy!!! LOL but I felt like I should try to write some thoughts down. So here goes.

What makes me different as a single parent? Well, for starters, I'm responsible for everything. And I mean, everything! I pay the bills, am the bread-winner. When I don't work, we could be screwed, because I'm all we've got. That is scary some days. Down-right, freaking, horribly scary. I have to be very conscious about how much money is in the bank (or not). Thankfully, I have a good job, but I have been out of work twice in the past 10 years, and so, it is always in the back of my mind. I'm responsible for the mortgage, all the bills (satellite, broadband, telephone, cell phone, water, sanitation, heat, insurance (home, car, health), food, clothes, shoes, diapers, retirement, education....the list goes on). Is it overwhelming? Well, it could be if I didn't take it one day at a time. That's the key. Oh, and prayer. And good friends. And my family. You have to have a support system.

When I started the adoption process, they kept asking about my "support system". I am quite the independent person, so I wasn't sure how or if I really had a good support system in their eyes. I mean, I have Mindy. I have Dad, Janice, Ellen, Dave, Sue, Scott, Misty, Melissa M., my Aunt and cousins... and my Mom has (thankfully) come back in our lives. My grandparents have all passed, and my family lives an hour away... so, for the most part, it still leave just me. So, I made a friend at Daycare - MK and her daughter. She's a SMBC (single mom by choice), too.

I don't really get to go out as much as I used to, by choice, because I don't like having to have Mia in DC all day and then get a babysitter. She does go with Scott and I - everywhere. Scott has been a wonderful addition to our lives in the past year. Thankfully, he really cares about Mia and she seems to love him. That helps. Not only is he a really great friend, he happens to be my boyfriend, too. :)

So, besides all of that, I have the daily stuff, too. Breakfast, dinners, tooth-brushing, bathing, diaper-changing, cleaning, dishes, vacuuming, laundry, grass-cutting, dogs, cat, vet appts, maintenance... the list goes on! Things get done as needed... and I like to keep us on a routine. I'm pretty fanatical about that. But, when it comes to the other stuff (dishes, cleaning), I've found that even being by myself, I need some type of schedule in my head. I'm sure Mindy's found this to be true, too.

A typical day for me right now is:
Get myself up (usually with a helpful wakeup call from Sis... who'da thunk it?!! LOL)
Brush teeth, shower, dry hair, make-up, etc.
Make coffee
Get Mia up (diaper, change clothes)
Get Mia breakfast
Let the dogs out... then in.
Put shoes on, take Mia to Daycare
Go to work.

Go get Mia (do some grocery shopping before or after depending on what time I'm done with work, if necessary)
Go home, get us something to eat.
Let the dogs out - feed them
Dogs out...then in
Potty and bath for Mia (we're working on potty training)
Dogs out...then in...
Mia goes to bed (nigh nigh)
I finally have a little time to myself (pay bills, do laundry, dishes, surf web, make sure i have lunch for the next day, if i didn't make it right after dinner, pick out clothes for the next day, take a shower, if i know i've been up too late and won't want to take one in the morning...and whatever else needs to be done)
Put dogs to bed
Put myself to bed

Get up and do it all over again. :) And the crazy thing is, it's just going to get to be even more once she goes to school.


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