Saturday, November 15, 2008


Do you ever lose your temper over (what seems like later) nothing? I have. And do, on occasion. It makes me feel awful. I've been working on it, but sometimes it just happens. Of course, I'm the type of person to ask for forgiveness when it does, but that doesn't comfort me so much.

My dad used to lose his temper when he got stressed. My mom did, too. And I see both of them in me sometimes. Not cool.

I definitely give myself my own time-out when I need to. But I've been thinking today about how much I don't like that trait in me... the temper part. Since I changed jobs recently, I'm more relaxed. I'm not nearly as stressed as I was 6 months ago. Thank God. Things are starting to feel "normal" again, but I still have my moments. I supposed we all do....right?

Lil M is amazing. I could not ask for a sweeter, more loving daughter. (I mean that. She is one of the happiest children I've ever known.) And I feel awful when I lose my temper over nothing. Ugh. Same with Chase. I have very high expectations of both of them, which is hard when they are children and can't help but being CHILDREN sometimes!! They are both wonderful children. Really. And I wouldn't change either of them in any way. I am, however, still working on myself.

I wonder sometimes if it is because I feel this mommy/daddy role responsibility sometimes. And in order to feel like they are really paying attention, I go into over-drive. :( Absolutely not an excuse. Just what I was thinking.

Thankfully, I don't lose my temper all the time. But I'm not proud when I do.

In Christ,
Mamma M

No comments: