Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Good talk

Had lunch today (updated- actually yesterday) with my friend Ellen... we had a good little talk. Actually, no talk with us is little. lol. :) So, I've decided I should write down some more of my thoughts on everything that's been going on lately.

First, I am kind of in a unique position to be able to make the decisions I can make for myself and my family right now. And every decision I make is with prayerful and heartfelt consideration. I don't do it because I'm trying to be saintly or because I think I'm better than any other human being on this earth. And, I will say that I do make some decisions based on my own selfish wants or my own perceived needs.

I first got involved in foster-care (read: went through the training) so that I could 'family build'. I didn't really set out to do this temporarily or to take older children. But things change, right? And, now I've got a 17 year old with me right now. I don't have to accept placement until next week... and I've gone back and forth, back and forth on whether or not to accept it or not. I've definitely had my fears with this one. And, not even substantiated ones... just the "unknown", mostly.

You know what I find most interesting (read: disturbing)... just how for or against foster care people are. I mean, I thought the perception about adoption was bad. The negative perceptions about foster kids is just astronomical. Of course, then there's the other extreme... people who seem to think I will be a bad person (inferred) if I don't take the placement (since there is nothing wrong with her, but her "age"... and she is helpful... and it's only a few months...and if I "can't make this one work, how could I make any one work"... which is hugely unfair). Very interesting, indeed.

IF I decide not to take placement... or if I DO accept placement... it's really no one else's right to judge me.

The good thing is that my friends and family who have met her so far seem to like her. And likewise. She even said she had fun going to Frisch's tonight!!! HAHA. So, maybe she does like being here. Wonder how she might do when she gets back to school, though.

Right now she is organizing her room, though. :) I don't think I've ever known a teenager who liked to organize so much, lol.



Tom in Vegas said...

Whatever you choose, you obviously have to decide what is in your and Mia's best interest. No one can fault you for having your priorities in proper order.

"First, I am kind of in a unique position to be able to make the decisions I can make for myself..."

Since visiting your blog (TC & B) and reading your posts, I can state honestly that I've always admired your resilience and independence. Here you are chugging right along, making decisions for you and Mia, and exploring experiences (Foster care) most people would be too cowardly to consider. I’m not trying to flatter you, I’m just stating my observations as I see them.

Silly comments reserved for other blog. Stay tuned:0)

Mel said...

I think that you are terribly brave for what you've accomplished so far. You've become a mother on your own, and now you've welcomed a teenager into your home - whether or not that's temporary, it's still rather admirable.

Beautiful Mess said...

It's hard to let all those comments or judgments roll off your back and not bother you. You know what is best for you and your family, that's all that matters. You'll make the right decision, I have faith in you!