Friday, November 6, 2009

National Adoption Month

November is National Adoption Month. I am sure the intent was to honor adoption, adoptees, and all members of the triad. But here's the thing. There is no glamor in adoption. Adoption is a necessity because people are well... human. We make decisions every day that affect the children born in this world. For better or worse.

Adoption is a blessing for many and heartbreak for so many others. It is a choice and it isn't. Some families do not "choose" to give up their children willingly. There is corruption in adoption. This makes me angry and sad and disgusted all at the same time.

When you adopt you hope and pray that everything is above board and perfect. You want to believe that you are creating your own family out of love. And, I do, personally, believe that is how most of us go into adoption. I want a family. I either can't or choose not to have a biological child, therefore, I will adopt. The problem is not having the dream. It is ignoring the reality of our children. They didn't "choose" to be here, in this place with us. We chose them, selfishly or ideologically or both. It doesn't matter the source after you adopt.

We MUST respect their feelings and concerns and their reality. We must respect our children.

I believe that I am truly blessed to have Lil M as my daughter. One day, though, she might not feel the same way... or she might want to know more about her birth situation. That is HER story and I will respect what she does or doesn't want to do with it. I also feel a responsibility to our world's children who are orphans or in the foster/adoptive system. I think we need to encourage our Legislators to work for more Therapeutic care for these families, where they can, and work harder towards reunification.

I can't fix the world. And other countries have their own issues and needs. I do believe, though, that if we can find reputable agencies to work with who sponsor children, work towards their growth, possibly family reunification... definitely a change in attitudes toward children put in this type of position... stop making them "invisible"... change attitudes that they have against single women or widowed parents... Help the children stay with their families if at all possible...

Not that I don't THANK GOD every single day for the opportunity I have to raise my daughter. I do. And I believe when Scripture tells us to take care of the Orphans and Widows...

But wouldn't it be a great world if there was no *need* to even have orphans or widows?

World peace. That's what I want. :)



Beautiful Mess said...

I didn't k now it was National Adoption Month, I'm so glad I know! I am glad for adoption and the opportunity it brings to many people. Although, I've never adopted, I would if I could. I agree with you, it's important to respect the child and where he/she came from. I would hope I could honor that like you do. You're amazing and I wanna be JUST like you when I grow up ;o)

MissMeliss said...

D, you're SO sweet. You're gonna make me cry!!!!