Glad it is Friday

My little one has a year-end program today at school and that's going to be neat to see. It'll be her first... and they are singing 3 songs as a class.

I've been working my butt off at work this week trying to get some test cases uploaded and will hopefully get to start testing on Monday. It's sort of been mind-numbing and a bit frustrating. But it'll be fine.

T got herself a detention at school, and then proceeded not to go to it. She'll likely get more added to it. Why do kids do that?

Thank goodness it is Friday! The weekend is almost here. :) Though, I do have a mandatory class tomorrow for my agency.

Peace.

some days

I will confess that I'm a realist. I'm also a hopeful person. Positive, yes, but not an eternal optimist. These past few days at home have been kind of tough for me. After T didn't go with us to the funeral on thursday, she has pretty much stayed in her room and only talked to me when necessary. I did get upset with her Thurs for being late, and we had a long talk. But, either there is something else going on, or she's just upset with me. And, frankly, I just don't feel like pushing it right now. At the same time, I feel like a failure (the past few times i've asked what's wrong she says nothing or says it isn't about me... right). So, she's been here, but not here. AT ALL. I'm discouraged. I know this stuff happens, and it is likely going to be fine in a day or two. But today, I'm feeling stressed about it.

I said the things before about being a realist. I can't make someone want to be here or care. All I can do for her is to try to be here and keep moving forward. Most days it is no problem, and I feel like we're doing pretty well. Today, I feel like my contributions in this area (of fostering) are extremely limited. And do not know what I will do moving forward in this area.

Then that makes me question having a 2nd child. Which isn't in the near future at this point, anyway, with moving (someday) and/or figuring out if I'll need to put Lil M in private school next year. So, there you have it. I'm having sort of a pity-me day. Oh well... this too shall pass!!

I thank the Lord God for all the blessings in my/our life(lives).

Peace.

cold and rainy

There's your weather report for here... it is cold and rainy. I'm sitting in my new office at work, and wishing I was sitting on the couch under a blanket with a cup of tea about right now. lol

Things are OK here, but have been stressful for the past few weeks. My getting a new office meant others were hurt and I don't like that part. I do like the new digs and am hoping things move forward for me.

On the home front, things are pretty well the same as they've been. We've been to the park a couple of times recently, and that's been nice. T did alright on her ACT, but not high enough... so will need to re-take it. Lil M has transitioned into her new room at daycare pretty well, even though I don't always like the new behaviors that have come from that. We had a stressful couple of weeks there, or I did, anyway... I don't like her changing rooms all the time and having to keep getting used a new teacher and new ways. But it is working out.

So back to the work thing. I got a title change and 3 direct reports. It wasn't exactly a level change, except the direct reports, just more added to my title. But I did get the office. I pray that in the next few months that it all becomes more solidified and that I can prove that I am the right person to help lead here. I also lift up a prayer for those who have been affected negatively through all the change.

Peace.

Weekend stuff

We got some housework done today, plus, I cleaned the car out! Not only did I clean it out (ok, except the trunk), I vacuumed it and got it wiped out. It looks good!! I need to get it washed and clean the trunk out and it'll be perfect. :)

I also got on the Pilates machine today, for the first time in awhile. The goal is to get on the treadmill this week, but I'm waiting another day or two to make sure I don't overdo it, since I've been sick for almost two weeks now.

Oh, yesterday I finally got the lawnmower to work to do the entire yard. It took three times. :( I am going to get some really good gas and see if that will fix the problem for the season. If not, I think it might actually be a carburetor problem at this point. If it is, then I'll either try to get it fixed (depending on cost) or get a new one. But, thankfully, I was able to get the yard done yesterday! Woot.

I've been trying to decompress from the week. It was a good week in some ways, but definitely hard in others. Two people I work with are no longer working where I do. That was tough. Also, my Great Aunt Mae passed away. I don't get much information from my family, but at least I got the news.

T said she didn't want to go on a vacation with us, but I'm wondering if she'll change her mind. We'll see. Lil M is doing pretty well and has definitely grown a size in the past couple of months.

I grilled out today for the first time all season... chicken, and it turned out really well. We'll have to do that a lot more. :) We had a fairly big Sunday dinner, I guess, with green beans, rice, pinto beans and salad.

Gosh, I'm boring this week.

Peace.

There are things in life

... that I don't take for granted. Or at least I try very hard not to. And one of those is my daughter, Lil M, and how we became a family. When I hear very sad stories (a recent one about a mother sending her son back to Russia ... on a plane, by himself... "giving him back") it just completely wrenches my heart. Completely.

Unfortunately, the extremely small amount of adoption disruptions give adoptions a bad name. :( And, now, Russia is considering stopping international adoptions. There is one tiny contribution we can make... please sign this petition. Please.

If we can help, in any way, to keep international adoptions open it would help so many children and families. If, for some reason, I wasn't able to adopt... I wouldn't have my own child right now. I just can't tell you how sad that makes me.

Peace.

Fun fact

So, I just realized something...

Sis likes malted milkshakes but not malted milk-balls (like from Easter).

I like malted milk-balls but not malted milkshakes.

There you go. ;-)

Peace.

The many positives of being a single parent... for both the parent and child

I found this article today:

http://singleparents.about.com/od/familyrelationships/tp/raised_single.htm

They point out that children raised by a single parent often have a stronger bond with that parent, well into their adulthood.

And, according to this article: http://singleparents.about.com/od/familyrelationships/tp/raised_single.htm I am the average single parent... well allrighty then!

This single parent took her son to "family math night" - math with M&M's, fun! He loved it and I got to eat cookies that had M&M's and to drink lemonade :) He got to see the difference in weight of M&M's, peanut M&M's and Skittles; he also did a fun little project counting them to find the median, mode, etc. And finally he plotted points on a graph, and when he connected the points it made M & M hehe, clever! We had fun.

Bubbles

Saturday, Lil M got to go to K's 5th birthday party (I'll post some pics if I get approval... but here's my girl eating a cupcake!) We had BIG fun at the birthday party, thanks C!!!

Lil M and Nephew had fun blowing bubbles in the backyard yesterday (Easter).

Celebrating Grandma's belated 60th (or according to the candles, 21st!) birthday on Easter, too.
Peace.

Haircut

Lil M got a trim tonight. She enjoyed it. :) Douglas (our hairdresser) said she ran to the wash basin to get her hair washed, and that she beat him to it... and sat down just like a big girl! She loved it. All smiles. :)

Peace.

Laughing is good

Last night we went to our favorite coffee shop and got to sit out in the evening air for a bit. We all had the giggles and played duck-duck goose, tickled each other, made the chairs into a train... T played airplane with Lil M... all, while laughing and generally making fools of ourselves in public... but it was all in good fun, and made our bellies hurt (in the good way, of course)!

This was after having a few days that were a bit more stressful. As I mentioned, last week T got herself in a little trouble with Mommy. This week, I got a call from the school for something that happened and they made it sound like it was a behavior that happened on Monday, but it was really what started everything last week. See, apparently, T got a bit obnoxious on the bus last week (Tuesday) and that was the day she decided to go "walking" with a friend and not come home when she should have. The two problems there were, a) she didn't have permission to go walk and b) she knew she needed to be home so I could go to a class.

But, the principal made it sound like what he was calling me about was this week. It was not. I believe that her bus incident happened (she told me it was the same day she got in trouble with me)... and then she probably (small guess on my part) decided that heck... if i'm already in trouble, why not go do what i want?!! So, she did. But I didn't even know about the bus thing, yet. So, she overreacted for nothing. And got herself in more trouble.

Now, one could argue that maybe she figured if she was already in trouble, why not go for it. Or maybe, if I get myself in trouble at home... the bus thing won't look so bad. I don't really know for sure, but it's all been resolved by now.

I think that what she did on the bus was typical teenage type behavior (albeit, a bit over the top). And I also think that T (as well as a lot of foster kids) get the shaft when it comes to the 'benefit of the doubt'. So, that's what I'm trying to do, in that regard.

Now, when it comes to being disrespectful to our family unit... and just going out without permission, that's a different story. And that was the only thing she saw a consequence from me about. She did say that I didn't react like previous people might have... (i didn't call the police). I want her to know that she needs to communicate with me. And, for her to really understand that, I need to communicate with her. Not just to her. With her. Some of these kids don't have that basic understanding. Everything is rules and consequences. I do believe she needs those, but she is at the point in her life where she needs to understand why there are rules/consequences and not just handed punishment.

Every situation is different, but I am trying to do right by her and all of us. I just hope I am!

This having a 17YO in the house is definitely different, but so far we're hanging in there and it's been good.

Peace.

PS. I read this awesome quote from a friend of mine, and it speaks to how I feel about life:

Edward Hale: “I am only one. But I am one. I can’t do everything, but I can do something; and that I can do, I ought to do. And what I ought to do, by the grace of God I shall do.”

Matching game

Lil M is learning how to play the matching card game with T. She's doing extremely well, I think... I'm not sure how many a 3 YO should be able to do, but she's able to remember where the different cards are that are turned over and then pick them again after they've been turned down. She's not doing it solely the way you'd normally play, but if she sees the cards first, she does remember quite a lot. :) Very cool.

We're hanging in there after our long week... I dare say that things are mostly back to normal. That also makes me glad.

We went to see Mimi and Chase last night and today. I finally got her wireless working (just hadn't had the time before to do it)... and she made us dinner. We also had some great local pizza last night. T even approved (pizza isn't her favorite thing).



Lil M has been playing dress up in this little white dress for like 2 weeks now. It is quite funny. She cracks me up. ;-)

Peace.

Behavior

This week has been a little different around here. T decided yesterday she was bored and wanted out of the house... and so left without permission. That did not go over well with me, as you can imagine. Not only did it make me late for a training class, but I had no idea where she was or when she was coming back. Not good.

So, I told her to come up with what she felt was a reasonable consequence. I got that list today, and it was more complaining 'punishment' list than anything. So, I changed it. The biggest part is for her to tell me what she thinks is a reasonable agreement for her to spend time with friend and such. The second is to tell me how she plans to be responsible, in addition to contacting me appropriately (like text, phone call, note). The third is how she plans to re-build the trust she's thrown out the window.

Let's see how that goes.

For now, I told her to put her cell phone (the one she didn't use to tell me where she was at) on the kitchen counter for the night. I will decide for how long that will last.

That's like cutting off an appendage. Or so they'd like you to believe.

What I did point out is what I did do vs. what I could have done. I could have called the police. I didn't. Instead, I called her. She told me she doesn't trust me (she hasn't known me that long)... and yet, she thinks that I should let her run around without knowing where she is, who her friends are or when she'll be home, etc. Um. NO. Not only that, but she was going to watch Lil M so I could get this training in. She completely disregarded that. I asked her if it would be acceptable for me to blow off a mandatory (or any, for that matter) training or appointment she had. ......... Uh, yeah. I didn't think it would be. (that was silence, if you couldn't tell.)

So, things here are fine, but the apple cart has been jostled a bit this week. Part of me wonders if it isn't because she is upset we were gone for a few days. Or if something else is going on. Or if she's just decided she wants to be out and to hell with the consequences. I hope we figure it out, though.

Peace.

Out and Back

Lil M and I went on a little vacation this week to N. Orleans. We had a very nice trip. We left Wed evening and got back today. We got to have some nice dinner on Thurs of catfish and shrimp and then we went to get Begnets (french donuts with lots of sugar) and coffee. It was very nice. We also got to see the Immigrants statue and I had Lil M sit on it and take a picture with Nonni.

Other than that, we just hung out and relaxed. Watched lots of boats go by on the great Mississippi and sat on the porch in rocking chairs a lot. It was gorgeous down there.

The only bad thing that happened was that Lil M got sick today in the car on the way to the airport. She's better now, but that sucked. I was told she is definitely a Mommy's girl (uh yeah), and that she is very secure with me (she was able to go to the potty in the house without me and with the door closed... even in the new environment. same with going to bed the last two nights. she would go to sleep without me, knowing i'd be up later). So, that was very nice to hear!! :) She does have difficulty not talking when others are talking, though, 'cause she is used to having all of mommy's attention most of the time (except when we're with T, but that seems to be different). So, we worked on that some more.

Peace.

Writing Name and Coloring

Lil M wrote her name at home all by herself for the first time tonight!!! Woot! :D She was coloring a picture that T had started and after she wrote it, T came and told me and I took a pic! Well, I took a pic after BOTH of them yelled for me to take pictures of them coloring! LOL

So, can you see it? it's on the Right side of the picture. :)

Lil M yells Mommaaaaay (long a sound) for me! It is pretty hysterical. Mommy, come take our picture they both said! But the big thing was that Lil M wrote her name! I'm so darn excited.

The next pics are of Lil M with MK2 at dinner, and at school.

Lil M and Mommy the morning of school pics.

Coloring is some serious business! :)

And, last but not least... my silly girls at the store with birthday hats on! "Just Because". T found them and thought they were cute... and just had to have one! So, I decided it was a good photo op! LOL

If one of those didn't make you smile... then, you're really having a bad day. ;-) And I hope that isn't the case!

We had a pretty laid back weekend. I didn't do nearly as much as I probably should have, but that's OK. T is on spring break this week and Lil M and I are going out of town for a couple of days... well, after I go back to court with Sis again for the thing against that woman who threatened her. Praying we get justice and she gets what she deserves.

Peace.

WFMW - school pics

I've started sort of a different tradition than I think other people have... I buy Lil M a new outfit for when she has her school (daycare) pics taken. Maybe it is because they take them so late, here it is March, but I am liking our new tradition and have a plan to keep it going once she's in real school. Most people I know buy their kids new clothes for the beginning of school. But isn't it sort of fun to have a new outfit (or even just shirt) for the picture day? It is the remembrance I'll have for that whole year, after all!! :)

Just my little what Works For Me Wednesday idea...

Lil M hasn't been feeling too well this week (fever night before last and then coughing and bloody nose last night from sneezing). It's also been a very busy week in the M-household... even T said she needs an "M" name and so does Skippy, LOL. So, she's Morrie and he's Mozart (well, or Merle, lol)... and NO I didn't even mention it to her, but it has been said before that we're the M family. ;-)

T had her ACT yesterday and we're both hoping she did better than her pre-ACT's...

Oh, and I got a promotion at work. :D That was good, but others were hurt in the process and I do not like that at all.

Please go here for other WFMW great ideas!


Peace.

Spring fever

I have a headache today, probably due to the big weather shift... it is much warmer today than it has been in quite awhile. It would be great to get out and do stuff, but T has got to keep studying for her ACT this coming week. So, while we all have a touch of spring fever, we'll probably go get her phone paid and then come back and stay in...

Please send up a prayer for T and this test on Tuesday... she needs to bring her score up from what she got on the practice tests, because if not she'll have to take it again. Ugh.

Lil M is doing well. She's anxious for all this to be over, too, I can tell.

Two Simple Ways to Be a Happier Parent on Yahoo! Health

Here is a good article on how to be a happier parent:

Two Simple Ways to Be a Happier Parent on Yahoo! Health

Like the article says, is seems surprisingly simple... it says:

For instance, would you like to know the one thing that will make children do better in school, help them have fewer emotional problems, and make them less likely to become obese or have drug or alcohol problems? Eat dinner together as a family.

I think that making sure we sit down to dinner together on a more regular basis is a great idea, something that I grew up doing and have really gotten away from. This is not the first time I have read this recommendation, but it is the first time I have seen anything that implies it could help prevent children from becoming obese or have alcohol problems... it makes sense.

Skaters and the Eiffel Tower

Skating on Saturday...

At school (daycare) last week they made an Eiffel tower out of marshmallows and toothpicks... kind of fun. I've decided to start taking pics of stuff like this that can't be kept permanently. Cute idea, though, and Lil M seemed to enjoy it!Peace.

New Boy

T started talking to me again last night. We didn't discuss how the weekend went or any of that, nor did she study for her ACT, but she did ask me if she could date the boy she likes. (which is a good sign, in and of itself if you think about it)

I said, well, I needed to know what she meant by dating him... what changes if I say she can or can't date him? Or what changes if she does date him? She said didn't say much, other than it wasn't for anything physical and that she's cared about him for awhile. Then she said she wanted to read to me the letters he'd written to her over a year ago when they were both in the alternative school.

She even waited around while I worked (getting some work caught up from being out of the office for awhile in the afternoon), so she could read me the letters.

The letters were nice enough, though there was a little bit of interesting information to be gotten from them... apparently, said boy has had his own wild side and been a bit depressed, too. So, I asked her if he was doing better, and she said yes. I also told her that it is not in her best interest to date someone who doesn't have the same goals as she does.

This young man, who seems nice enough, didn't graduate HS. He will need to complete his GED in order to go into the military or to college. He did tell me that he wants to go to college. So, I told T that she needs to watch out and see if he makes movement toward those goals. Otherwise, if she does finish up and go to college... there might be some bad feelings between them sooner or later about their life differences. Maybe not. But, I wanted to make sure she thinks about these things before jumping into something at the age of 17. Right?

I did tell her it was OK for her to 'date' him. I will be keeping a close eye on what this means and what it turns into, though. You can be assured of that. I am the meanest Mommy, remember?!! ;-)

As for the other stuff, well, we'll have to get into that this week. I have not let her off the subject completely, I'm just giving us a little bit of breathing room from the upset this weekend.

Peace.

Meanest Mom

This weekend I do believe that I got the Meanest Mom award... not only would I not let Lil M chew on a puzzle piece, I also wouldn't let T spend the night with her sister to take care of her 3 nieces/nephews... at the last minute... on a whim. Nope.

Here's the deal. First, Lil M does not usually put things in her mouth... that I've ever seen. Yesterday, apparently she thought it was a good idea to chew on a puzzle piece (no, she's not teething, she's 3.5 YO and has all of her teeth)... so, I took them all away. Oi. Needless to say, Mommy was pretty upset.

Saturday, T went for a home visit. About 45 minutes before my going to pick her up she called and said her sister asked if she could stay and watch her kids for her. How long?, I asked. Oh, until tomorrow morning.... uh. what?! NO. First, it's 3 children, two of which are under the age of 3. Second, don't come to me with such short notice and call me in front of your sister and ask. Then, she said that Sis didn't ask her, she offered to help her sister. OK, see my 2nd point then. Call me first. I realize I don't rate in comparison, but here's the thing - I am currently the one responsible. So, it is my decision to make.

Then T said something about calling the SW to get her to say it was OK, to which I responded it wasn't up to her. It was up to me. And I say no.

I did, however, give her two other options. One, have her sister bring said kiddos over to our house and she could watch them over night. Which, btw, is pretty generous, if you ask me. Or, she could babysit but only until 10pm, not overnight. The sister said No. That her kids' stuff was at her house and they needed to be watched there. Ok. Well... free babysitting overnight... I'm thinking if I wanted to go out, I'd take it. I guess she didn't want to go out that bad. Or... well, it was more true that T had offered and Sis didn't really care to begin with.

Here's the other thing... I had let T have a boy over last weekend for several hours. He even came to eat with us. Then, I let her go out on Friday night for a little while with this guy and she was late getting home (she did send me a text saying he lost the keys - they're in the middle of moving, but still)....

So, I've been getting the silent treatment. Oh, and she hasn't studied at all for the ACT this weekend, like she said she would. She didn't come out of her room except to go to the bathroom in 24 hours.

When she asks me to pay for her phone this week, that will also be a No. Why? Because I'm a mean Mom. But I will get the point across that I am the Mom. I make the decisions around here. That... is very important.

Peace.